A Different Christmas Poem (Revised)

Tea Party Member Stuns Crowd! ORIGINAL!!!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "What is this world coming to?"

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?

A female-to-male transgender member of the George Washington women's basketball team wants to be identified as a man this season…Junior Kye Allums -- who used to be known as Kay-Kay -- is referred to on the school's website as a "male member of George Washington's women's basketball team." Where will this craziness end? I guess that we’ll probably see a guy decide he’s now a girl and “she’ll” want to be on the girls team. It ain’t right! Next thing you know they’ll want to let female reporters in the guys locker rooms.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Should I send my bank info and retire?"

I could retire today if I just sent this guy my bank information. What should I do?


Mr. Edward Kong
Vice President/Manager
The Bank of East Asia (USA) NA
Flushing Branch
39-02 Main Street,
Flushing, NY 11354, USA

Greetings friend,

I am Mr. Edward Kong, the Vice President and Branch Manager of The Bank of East Asia (USA), Flushing Branch Flushing New York, USA. I write to seek your consent to carry out a transaction that would be highly beneficial to you and me. I know you may be wondering why I am contacting you for this despite all the friends and relations that I have but I decided to do this with an unknown person to avoid any form of blackmail in the future. Mr. Alvin Peter Kappelmann Jr was an account holder with my bank. I have been his account officer for 11 years before his death. He died during the World Trade Centre bombing in September 11 2001. Please confirm from this site:

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/people/2632.html

Since his death, the management of my bank has made series of efforts to locate his family but all efforts were proved abortive. I also carried out series of research to find his family but it was confirmed that the mother who was the only surviving member of the family died at the hearing of the son’s death. He was already divorced before his death and due to this fact; no one was able to claim the fund he deposited in my bank legally because there was no will to it. He had a secret dollar account with my bank worth the sum of $58,200,000.00 (Fifty Eight Million, Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) with an interest agreement of 6.7% which have been for the past 9 years.

My purpose of contacting you now is this:

My bank during the last executive board meeting resolved that if by the end of this year and there is no beneficiary to the said account, the account will be confiscated and the fund sent to the bank treasury and this is where I am interested in and wants you to come in:

I want you to come in as the Next of Kin/Beneficiary to this account. I have all the titled documents to back your claim and as the Vice President and Manager of this branch, it is in my power to carry out any form of verification on the beneficiary of the said fund and process the fund wire without any problem. I want you to know that this is legal and 100% risk free as all the titled documents would be changed to your name and the fund wired to any bank account you wish to have it wired to.

Please note that I am willing to let you have 30% of the total sum while you give me 60% when the fund finally gets to your nominated bank account. Also note that I am willing to go extra mile to make this a success because if anything goes wrong, then I stand the risk of losing my job and even go to jail for trying to carry out such transaction. This is why I am contacting you so that we can put heads together and take care of this transaction within now and the next 9 days.

Kindly get back to me immediately so that I advice you on how this would be carried out.
Sincerely,
Edward Kong

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Smile! Wait For Flash"

"Where can I get my pistol engraved like this?"

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "An old school hero"

Michele Malkin worte about an "old school hero".

While the White House may not believe in American exceptionalism, I do. And I'm thinking there's a whole bunch of people in Chile that would agree.

Regarding the mine rescue, did you know:

The guy that designed the rescue module was a NASA Engineer?

The Drill was made by Schramm Inc. from Pennsylvania.

The Drill Bits were made by Center Rock, Inc. located in Berlin, Pennsylvania.

The lead driller Jeff Hart and his team are from Denver, Colorado. They are on loan from the US Military in Afghanistan where they are drilling water wells for our Forward Operating Bases.

He spent the next 33 days on his feet, operating the drill that finally provided a way out Saturday for 33 trapped miners. "You have to feel through your feet what the drill is doing; it's a vibration you get so that you know what's happening," explained Hart.

Hart was called in from Afghanistan, "simply because he's the best" at drilling larger holes with the T130's wide-diameter drill bits, Stefanic said.

Standing before the levers, pressure meters and gauges on the T130's control panel, Hart and the rest of the team faced many challenges in drilling the shaft. At one point, the drill struck a metal support beam in the poorly mapped mine, shattering its hammers. Fresh equipment had to be flown in from the United States and progress was delayed for days as powerful magnets were lowered to pull out the pieces.

The mine's veins of gold and copper ran through quartzite with a high level of abrasive silica, rock so tough that it took all their expertise to keep the drill's hammers from curving off in unwanted directions. "It was horrible," said Center Rock President Brandon Fisher, exhausted after hardly sleeping during the effort.

Fisher, Stefanic and Hart called it the most difficult hole they had ever drilled, because of the lives at stake.

"If you're drilling for oil and you lose the hole, it's different. This time there's people down below," Stefanic said.

"We ruined some bits, worked through the problems as a team, and broke through," Hart said. "I'm very happy now."

Miners' relatives crowded around Hart on Saturday, hugging and posing for pictures with him as he walked down from the rescue operation into the tent camp where families had anxiously followed his work.

"He's become the hero of the day," said Dayana Olivares, whose friend Carlos Bugueno is one of the miners stuck below.

In a different day and age, Jeff Hart would be the most famous American in our country right now. He would be honored at the White House. Schoolchildren would learn of his skill and heroism. But because Jeff Hart works in an industry currently being demonized, more people in Chile will celebrate this symbol of American greatness than in America itself.
- Michelle Malkin

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A great alternative to body scanners at airports .

FINALLY — A great alternative to body scanners at airports . . .

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.

It’s a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It also would eliminate the costs of a long and expensive trial. Justice would be swift. Case closed!

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system . . . "Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number 123. Shalom!"

Hats off to the Israelis!!!!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Home Security Advice

Pretty neat idea. Never thought of it before.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds,all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

P.S. I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is fantastic. Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him.. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: An Amendment

The Time Has Indeed Come!

Governors of 35 states have already filed suit against the FederalGovernment for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38(of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention. This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.

An idea whose time has come!

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest was to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform ...in all of its forms. Somehow, that
doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

A Constitutional Convention - this is a good way to do that. It is an idea whose time has come. And, with the advent of modern communication, the process can be moved along with incredible speed. There is talk out there that the "government" doesn't care what the people think. That is irrelevant. It is incumbent on the population to address elected officials to the wrongs afflicted against the populace...you and me.

Think about this...The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure. I'm asking each addressee to forward this Email to a minimum of twenty people on their Address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around. Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or
Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "The Haircut"

THE HAIRCUT

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ' thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Brunswick City Officials Go To China"

I have nothing against having a sister city in China. It's probably a good idea. I'm just not a big fan of having the taxpayers foot part of the bill. I know that we were told that the Chinese were paying for the entire trip except for about ten thousand dollars. City Manager Roosevelt Harris even explained that the money was not coming from the general fund. He said it was coming from a special fund that had been set aside for things like this. Hey Rosie! It's still taxpayer money! Money that we apparently didn't have enough of to pay our city workers without putting some on furlough. How do you explain this kind of economics to the ones that have seen their paychecks cut? Next time instead of spending taxpayer money let's get a corporate sponsor to fund the trip. We could just put it on Sea Island's tab. They probably wouldn't even notice...since they already owe just everybody around here anyway!

Here are the top 4 things overheard during the Brunswick delegation's latest trip to China:

4. Since they already own half of our country,maybe we could get them to help out Sea Island.

3. Hey Skinny, Funny Man...Deal or No Deal!

2. See if you can get them to build a factory at Liberty Harbor.

...and the top thing overheard during the Brunswick delegation's latest trip to China:

I've never seen a Peking Duck with four legs and whiskers.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: an idea about tolerance

My old friend Bubba Ray Smith has an idea about tolerance:

I am shocked that so many Americans are against building a mosque near Ground Zero.We should allow it, but in order to promote tolerance....

I propose that a country honky tonk and a hip hop club could bee opened next door to the mosque to promote tolerance in the mosque. We could call it "The Turban Cowboy" and "You Mecca Me Hot". Next door on the other side, could be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and pork products, and makes a nice lunchtime pulled pork sandwich. Then across the street, a very daring lingerie store, called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret”.

And, skin heads & white supremacists would be renting a store front tattoo parlor just above the butcher shop, which would of course be just a few feet down from the Armed Forces Recruiting Office … just a step or two from the VA administration office. To make the neighborhood and street complete I also propose that we build the largest Southern Baptist Church in the country with shared parking with the mosque, which must allow use of their parking lot for old fashioned tent revivals. You know.... just to promote that, “tolerance thing”!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Hell’s Angels are looking for a new area for a clubhouse…Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yep, I know the perfect area. Hey, just trying to promote that tolerance thing. I’m a good person who has concerns for my fellow citizens… what can I say? If your tolerance promoting is similar to mine then by all means pass this along, especially to politicians everywhere.

Signed, Bubba Ray Smith, TPM (tolerance promoting manager) of the good ole US of A.

**This message was made in America without harming any cats or dogs…or fish… or horses, or cows or chickens or pigs or ferrets.

PS. Did I mention that the women from P.E.T.A. would be naked on every street corner raising awareness about the evils of wearing fur? Gosh I love this country….Wish everybody did.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The 5 Best Sentences

A Norman Rockwell Moment ...
These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:


1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the
wealth out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must
work for without receiving.


3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government
does not first take from somebody else.

4. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to
work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the
other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody
else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the
beginning of the end of any nation.

5. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

OIL - you better sit down. ..

Here's an interesting read, important and verifiable information :

About 6 months ago, the writer was watching a news program on oil and
one of the Forbes Bros. was the guest. The host said to Forbes, "I am going to
ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil
does the U.S. have in the ground?" Forbes did not miss a beat, he said, "more
than all the Middle East put together." Please read below.

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April 2008 that only
scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big. It was a
revised report (hadn't been updated since 1995) on how much oil was in
this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota , western South Dakota , and extreme eastern Montana … check THIS out:

http://bakkenshale.net/bakkenshalemap.html

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska 's Prudhoe
Bay, and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign
oil. The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion
barrels. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable... at $107 a barrel,
we're looking at a resource base worth more than $5..3 trillion.

"When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see
their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea.." says Terry Johnson, the Montana
Legislature's financial analyst.

"This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found
in the past 56 years," reports The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. It's a
formation known as the Williston Basin , but is more commonly referred to as the
'Bakken.' It stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and
into Canada ... For years, U. S. oil exploration has been considered a dead
end. Even the 'Big Oil' companies gave up searching for major oil wells
decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up
the Bakken's massive reserves...and we now have access of up to 500
billion barrels. And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels
will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!

That's enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 2041 years
straight. And if THAT didn't throw you on the floor, then this next one
should - because it's from 2006!

U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World

Stansberry Report Online - 4/20/2006

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the
largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION
barrels. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In
three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this
mother load of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?

They reported this stunning news: We have more oil inside our borders,
than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates:

- 8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia

- 18-times as much oil as Iraq

- 21-times as much oil as Kuwait

- 22-times as much oil as Iran

- 500-times as much oil as Yemen

- and it's all right here in the Western United States .

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because the
environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America
become independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of
people dictate our lives and our economy.....WHY?

James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we've got more oil in
this very compact area than the entire Middle East -more than 2 TRILLION
barrels untapped. That's more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in
the world today, reports The Denver Post.

Don't think 'OPEC' will drop its price - even with this find? Think
again! It's all about the competitive marketplace, - it has to. Think OPEC just
might be funding the environmentalists?

Got your attention yet? Now, while you're thinking about it, do this:

Pass this along. If you don't take a little time to do this, then you
should stifle yourself the next time you complain about gas prices - by
doing NOTHING, you forfeit your right to complain.

--------

Now I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you
sent this to every one in your address book.

By the way...this is all true. Check it out at the link below!!!

GOOGLE it, or follow this link. It will blow your mind.

http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=1911

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "A GaGa Challenge"

Lady GaGa made headlines again recently with her choice of wardrobe. The wild singer showed up at the Video Awards Show wearing a meat dress. It was a garment made of real raw meat. I am now mad that she hasn't shown the same love for seafood. Hey GaGa, how bout a little respect for the "fruit of the sea"? I am putting a direct challenge for her to wear my specially designed shrimp shirt. If she accepts this offer we will give her V.I.P treatment at this weekend's Wild Georgia Shrimp & Grits Festival in Jekyll Island's Historic District. I will wear this shirt tomorrow morning during the Wave 104.1 morning show (streaming at thewave1041.com). As you can tell by the photo this attire is very aromatic.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Teacher's Application"

"Teacher's Application"

After being interviewed by the school administration,
the teaching prospect said, 'Let me see if I've got
this right:

You want me to go into that room with all those kids,
correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for
signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor
their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for
learning.

You want me to check their backpacks for weapons,
wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases,
and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

You want me to teach them patriotism and good
citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how
to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply
for a job.

You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize
signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure they all
pass the state exams.

You want me to provide them with an equal education
regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly
with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and
report cards.

You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a
blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile,
and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

You want me to do all this, and then you tell me that
I CAN'T PRAY?'

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Wrecking Ball Sequels

With the recent success of the "Wrecking Ball", the United Way of Coastal Georgia's kick-off event, we should try to come up with a few sequels. The name came from the soon to be demolition of the Jekyll island Convention Center or as it was known to us locals "the Aquarama". I say we find other places in the community that either need renovation or removal and that we do a big dance there as a fund raiser.

Here's a few ideas:

As a tribute to those rascals that skipped town after trying to convince us that folks would actually want to live in an expensive home next to a gypsum plant and a frozen food plant we could go to "The Liberty Harbor Gettin' Out of Town Throw down."

For that rain damaged store on Cypress Mill Road we could promote "The Raise Roof Old brunswick Mall Family Dollar Dance."

The downtown crowd would love "The Move The Jailhouse Rock the Night Away."

And of course we could really clean up one of the city's most blighted areas with the Norwich Street Soiree and Arco Ho-down."

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Things that you should learn in high school"

From Educator Charles Sykes's book "Dumbing Down Our Kids"

"11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school"

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Inner Peace"

Inner Peace: This is so true




If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,





.....Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "A New Disease"

Gonorrhea Lectim

Information about Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim.

It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.

Many victims contracted it in 2008...but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout.

You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again;

Otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey , and apparently now Massachusetts , with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Vanishing Things"

One person's opinion but it does seem possible

As received

1. The Post Office:

Get ready to imagine a world without the post office.
They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably
no way to sustain it long term.
Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the
minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive.
Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

2. The Check:

Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with cheques by 2018.
In Europe they are hardly used now.
It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks.
Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise
of the check. This plays right into the death of the post office.
If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail,
the post office would absolutely go out of business

3. The Newspaper:

The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper.
They certainly don't subscribe to a daily delivered print edition.
That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man.
As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it.
The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused
all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance.
They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone
companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.

4. The Book:

You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold
in your hand and turn the literal pages. I said the same thing about
downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I
quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get
albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the
latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can
browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter
before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book.
And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your
fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are
lost in the story, can't wait to see what happens next, and you
forget that you're holding a gadget instead of a book.

5. The Land Line Telephone:

Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls,
you don't need it anymore. Most people keep it simply
because they're always had it. But you are paying double
charges for that extra service.
All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using
the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.

6. Music:

This is one of the saddest parts of the change story.
The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because
of illegal downloading. It's the lack of innovative new music
being given a chance to get to the people who would like
to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem. The record
labels and the radio conglomerates simply self-destruction.
Over 40% of the music purchased today is "catalogue items,"
meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older
established artists. This is also true on the live concert circuit.
To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check
out the book, "Appetite for Self-Destruction" by Steve Knopper,
and the video documentary, "Before the Music Dies."

7. Television:

Revenues to the networks are down dramatically. Not just because
of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed
from their computers. And they're playing games and doing all lots
of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV.
Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest
common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials
run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to
most of it It's time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery.
Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.

8. The "Things" That You Own:

Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives,
but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply
reside in "the cloud." Today your computer has a hard drive and
you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your
software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if
need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and
Google are all finishing up their latest "cloud services." That
means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be
built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the
Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an
icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save
something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a
monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider.

In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books,
or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device.
That's the good news. But, will you actually own any of this
"stuff" or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in
a big "Poof?" Will most of the things in our lives be disposable
and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull
out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a
CD case and pull out the insert.

9. Privacy:

If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically,
it would be privacy. That's gone. It's been gone for a long time anyway.
There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even
built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7
"They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS
coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something,
your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to
reflect those habits. And "They" will try to get you to buy something
else. Again and again.

.....All we will have that can't be changed are Memories......
Take Heed!

Author Unknown.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Monkey Shines!

Best analogy I've seen in quite a while.........
We need to do this!!!


Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes the attempt with same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his shock, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know, that is the way it has always been done around here.

And that, gentlemen, is how Congress operates....

We need to REPLACE all the original monkeys this November.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A Speech Every American High School Principal Should Give

A Speech Every American High School Principal Should Give
By Dennis Prager


If every school principal gave this speech at the beginning of the next school year, America would be a better place.

To the students and faculty of our high school:

I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people.

I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country.

First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships.

The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American. This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans.

If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity-, race- and non-American nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America, one of its three central values -- e pluribus unum, "from many, one." And this school will be guided by America's values.

This includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.

Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interesting in are those based on ethnic, racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.

Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America's citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English language skills, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the American job market. We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English -- but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.

Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for Hollywood events than for church or school. These people have their priorities backward. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.

Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the f-word, you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission, plus epithets such as "Nigger," even when used by one black student to address another black, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.

Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it . One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.

Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates this school and does not consider himself or herself inordinately lucky -- to be alive and to be an American.

Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Drafting Guys Over 60

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.


If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns... We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old coots with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

ROBIN WILLIAMS HAS A PLAN


Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says, 'I love New York ' in Arabic.
HE MADE THIS SPEECH IN NEW YORK ...


The Plan!

You gotta love Robin Williams.
Even if he's nuts!







Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan.
What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan. (Hard to argue with this logic!)

'I see a lot of people yelling for peace, but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.'

1) 'The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present.
You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys'.
We will never 'interfere' again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the Philippines .
They don't want us there.
We would station troops at our borders.
No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
We'll give them a free trip home.
After 90 days, the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are.
They're illegal!
France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days, unless given a special permit!
No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in.
If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here.
Asylum would never be available to anyone.
We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign 'students' over age 21.
The older ones are the bombers.
If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise.
This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness.
The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil.
If they don't like it, we go someplace else.
They can go somewhere else to sell their production.
(About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.'
They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need.
Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army.
The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace.
We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here.
Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school.
That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer.
The Language we speak is ENGLISH.
Learn it or LEAVE.
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

'The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.'
She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Fake Money in Brunswick & the Golden Isles

There are 5 signs that one in your hand is fake money:

1. It simply different from the genuine money. Take money that you sure genuine and compare with one that you suspect fake. For low quality fake money, at a single glance you will realize the different. A magnifying glass might help too.

2. See the portrait. Pay close attention to the details of the portraits. Genuine money will have a much clearer and finer looking portrait. The portrait in fake money typically appears dull or has a less lucid appearance.

3. Inspect the Federal Reserve and United States Treasury seals. Genuine money will have seals that sharp, arrow-like border which is distinct and much defined. Seals on fake money, on the other hand, usually blur.

4. Look for watermark. Watermark is an image which appears on genuine money when you hold it in front of light. Watermark usually matches the portrait and the denomination. Watermark is costly for counterfeiters to make.

5. The feel and smell of it. Trust yourself, feel the paper. You are very used with genuine money, you know the paper. Genuine money use special paper and it feels of high quality then the ordinary paper. If the money is new then smells it, in my place new genuine money smells shity (but nice!).
According to the Brunswick Police Department more counterfeit bills are showing up in Brunswick and in Camden County. The authorities think that its being produced locally because of the poor quality. Bills printed before 1996 weren’t made with the chemicals to set off a counterfeit pen. Older bills will appear fake when marked even if they are real. The $50 bill is commonly counterfeited because people don’t encounter them as much as other bills.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The Turtle Burger

Here's the new rival to the baconator - The turtle burger

Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add hotdogs as the heads, legs and tail. Next step?

Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at
400 degrees. A little crispy, not too crunchy...just how a turtle should be!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "It Can't Be My Fault!"

What's happened to our society when it comes to responsibility? Have you noticed that it's always someone else's fault. Very few people will admit to being in the wrong. The latest it's not my fault is "being overserved". Yeah, it's no longer your fault that you drank too much at the party or at the bar. You were overserved.
Say what? No one poured whiskey or beer down your throat. You weren't overserved! You drank too much! Face it, it was your fault! As the Great American Dream Dusty Rhodes once said, "if you're gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk!"

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Doing It Right"

Doing it Right...

What could happen if you screw with a TEXAS law enforcement officer...

Living on the border, TEXANS are all familiar with criminals coming from Mexican gangs. In this situation, three armed felons crossed the TEXAS sovereign border, and tried to rob an off duty El Paso, TEXAS police officer dressed in civilian clothes while he stood in front of a bank. The plan was for two of them to grab his backpack and toss it to an accomplice on a stolen motorcycle.

However, this well prepared El Paso Police Officer shot them ALL, managing to kill 2 immediately. The 3rd thug was shot in both arms and bled to death before help arrived.

Do you realize how much this TEXAN saved the US taxpayer by not having to prosecute these worthless thugs?

Arrest and detention for 1 night = $6,000

Transportation for deportation back to Mexico the next day = $1,000

Air time for Obama to apologize in 30 min speech = $25,000,000 = $25,007,000

Three .45 rounds = $.75

Auction one slightly used but scratched motorcycle = $2,500

Taxpayer savings = $25,004,499.25

Not bad, not bad at all!

They picked the wrong man to rob... too bad for them ALL!

Only in TEXAS... God Bless TEXANS!

THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A 911 CALL IS EIGHTEEN MINUTES.

THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A .45 S&W ROUND IS ABOUT 1,025 FEET PER SECOND. . .

GO DO THE MATH!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Let Me See If I Get This Right

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: When The Music Stopped

When the Music Stopped...
(For those who are unaware: At all military base theaters, the National Anthem is played before the movie begins.)

This is written from a Chaplain in Iraq :

I recently attended a showing of 'Superman 3' here at LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium we use for movies, as well as memorial services and other large gatherings. As is the custom at all military bases, we stood to attention when the National Anthem began before the main feature. All was going well until three-quarters of the way through The National Anthem, the music stopped.

Now, what would happen if this occurred with 1,000, 18-22 year-olds back in the States? I imagine there would be hoots, catcalls, laughter, a few rude comments, and everyone would sit down and yell for the movie to begin. Of course, that is, if they had stood for the National Anthem in the first place.

Here in Iraq, 1,000 Soldiers continued to stand at attention, eyes fixed forward. The music started again and the Soldiers continued to quietly stand at attention. But again, at the same point, the music stopped. What would you expect 1000 Soldiers standing at attention to do?? Frankly, I expected some laughter, and everyone would eventually sit down and wait for the movie to start.

But No!!... You could have heard a pin drop, while every Soldier continued to stand at attention.

Suddenly,there was a lone voice from the front of the auditorium, then a dozen voices, and soon the room was filled with the voices of a thousand soldiers, finishing where the recording left off: "And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."

It was the most inspiring moment I have had in Iraq and I wanted you to know what kind of Soldiers are serving you. Remember them as they fight for us!

Pass this along as a reminder to others to be ever in prayer for all our soldiers serving us here at home and abroad. Many have already paid the ultimate price.

Written by Chaplain Jim Higgins.
LSA Anaconda is at the Ballad Airport in Iraq , north of Baghdad.

Please share only if you are so inclined. God Bless America and all of our troops serving through out
the world.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: GAC’s Top 20 Patriotic Songs

By David Scarlett, with Sarah Wyland

If you want to hear patriotic songs, whether openly saluting the military or just extolling the virtues of everyday life in America, country music is a great place to start. In recent years we’ve heard heartfelt songs by several artists who may not be household names yet–like ex-soldiers Luke Stricklin (”American by God’s Amazing Grace”) and Keni Thomas’ (”Not Me”). But the tunes that made it on our list of the 20 Greatest Country Patriotic Songs are by some of country’s most influential artists, and these patriotic tunes are among their most enduring. For those counting, we even included an extra song. In no particular order, here they are:

“If You’re Reading This” (2007) co-written and performed by Tim McGraw
When Tim McGraw performed “If You’re Reading This” at the 2007 Academy of Country Music Awards, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. The song is a tribute to fallen soldiers and takes the form of a letter, meant to be read only if the soldier didn’t return home. Co-written with Brad and Brett Warren of the Warren Brothers, the track was inspired by an article the three men read about war casualties. After Tim’s performance at the ACM awards, one hundred relatives of soldiers who died in the line of duty appeared onstage under a banner that read ‘Families of Fallen Heroes.’ An emotional Tim rightly received a standing ovation from his fellow country artists.

“Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue (The Angry American)” (2002) written and performed by Toby Keith
Written just days after the attacks of 9/11, this tune makes no bones about it—Toby was fighting mad. Written partly as a tribute to his war veteran father, the song summed up the feelings of a lot of Americans who wanted a very forceful response to an assault by terrorists on innocent men, women and children. It became a rallying cry for our troops and a thorn in the side of people like Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks who called the song “ignorant” and Peter Jennings of ABC News, who uninvited Toby to be part of a patriotic television special after reading the lyrics of “Courtesy.” While Toby doesn’t describe himself as a very political guy, he is a “very patriotic” guy. “If you believe in it enough, it’s worth fightin’ for,” he’s been quoted as saying. “And if you’re not gonna fight for it, then you deserve to be dictated to, you know—and I’m not willing to do that.”

“God Bless the USA” (1983), written and performed by Lee Greenwood
Often called the “unofficial National Anthem,” in 2003—the 20th anniversary of its release—online voters named this powerful song the “most recognizable patriotic song” in the nation. And, after nearly 25 years, the song Lee wrote to show his appreciation for his country and his willingness to defend it still routinely brings crowds to their feet at the opening strains of the first chorus. While cynics may describe it as jingoistic, there are a good many citizens who, to this day, cannot hear its heartfelt championing of America’s virtues without getting misty.

“Letters from Home” (2004) written by Tony Lane and David Lee and performed by John Michael Montgomery
Inspired by the American military involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq, this song is based on the military, but it’s really about family and how important it is for those serving in far-away conflicts to know that loved ones are thinking about them…and how important letters are and always have been in doing that. “I went to Ft. Hood,” recalls John Michael. “And I met a father there who told me, ‘I lost my son.’ And they thanked me for the song. It’s just one of those special songs.”

“Some Gave All” (1992) Co-written and performed by Billy Ray Cyrus
This was the title cut of Billy Ray’s debut album, which eventually sold approximately 14 million copies worldwide. The song is a tribute to the sacrifices of all veterans of war and was recorded after Billy Ray met a Vietnam veteran who later died. Not surprisingly, “Some” has been embraced by veterans’ groups and has also been featured as the plotline in Billy Ray’s former “Doc” TV series. As a truly personal tribute, some rescue workers at “ground zero” in New York later got “Some Gave All” tattoos in memory of their lost friends.

“Bumper of My SUV” (2004) written and recorded by Chely Wright
As Chely tells it, this song was based on an actual event that happened when she was driving down a Nashville street and received an obscene gesture from a fellow motorist because of the United States Marines sticker Chely had on her vehicle. Chely, who describes herself in the song as “not Republican or Democrat,” is a patriot through and through, having visited and performed for troops around the world on numerous occasions.
She comes by her commitment to supporting the troops honestly. As the lyrics say, See, my brother Chris, he’s been in for more than 14 years now/Our dad was in the Navy during Vietnam/Did his duty then he got out/And my grandpa earned his purple heart on the beach of Normandy/That’s why I’ve got a sticker for the U.S. Marines, on the bumper of my SUV.
The song generates standing ovations wherever she plays it. She may never have fired a weapon in combat, but Chely continues to serve her country.

“Only in America” (2001) written by Kix Brooks, Don Cook, and Ronnie Rogers, performed by Brooks & Dunn
This song was written before 9/11 and, like “American Child” by Phil Vassar, it is all about celebrating the freedom and opportunity to be found in America where anything is possible…from becoming president to going to prison. But after the attacks in September 2001, things changed. “In times like these, songs take on special meaning,” declared Kix a couple weeks after the attacks. “Songs like these really hit home right now. Everybody is looking for a flag to wave.”

“American Child” (2002) by Phil Vassar and Craig Wiseman, performed by Phil Vassar
The video for this song sums it up very nicely as Phil looks at his own young daughter with immense gratitude that she, too, was born an American child. This very well-crafted tune is patriotic in a way that honors the sacifice of a grandfather killed in combat while also gently counting the blessings provided to Phil, his own child and millions of others in a country where dreams can grow wild born inside an American child. Very powerful and moving.

“The Fightin’ Side of Me” (1970) written and performed by Merle Haggard
While Merle doesn’t mince words when he says he feels that people in positions of leadership are making mistakes, he makes it clear in this tune from the Vietnam era that he doesn’t mind people standing up for things they believe in, but running down the country is a different thing entirely. There were then, and still are today, plenty of folks who think Merle got it right when he said a lot of people fought and died to give us the American way of life. We can disagree about specifics without trashing the country. Amen, Merle.

“America” (1984) written by Sammy Johns and performed by Waylon Jennings
This was a song Waylon carried with him for years and rediscovered after the 1984 Olympics inspired him to write a patriotic song and he found himself dissatisfied with his attempts. After another listen, he knew “America” captured what he’d been trying to say. “It wasn’t just flag waving,” wrote Waylon in his autobiography. “It was talking about the ideals we had fought for and the blunders committed in their name and the honor that lay behind our national character.” Unlike some patriotic songs, this one admits that America isn’t perfect, but professes a tender love for what’s right about the country, what’s unique in all of history and what’s worth preserving.

“In America” (1980 and re-released in 2001) written by Charlie Daniels, John Thomas Crain Jr., Joel Di Gregorio, Fred Laroy Edwards, Charles Fred Hayward, and James Marshall and recorded by Charlie Daniels
Never one to tiptoe around a subject he’s passionate about, Charlie proclaims his love of America to anyone within shouting distance. In this foot-stomping up-tempo number, he admits that every now and then Americans will criticize each other, but when it comes to being attacked by someone from elsewhere, Americans will rally together.
“Once you get past the superficial part of the people of this country,” he proclaims, “we all have one thing in common. We are Americans and damn proud of it, and when you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. God Bless America.” With the song’s re-release following the 9/11 attacks, a whole new generation of listeners heard and embraced Charlie’s sentiments.

“Arlington” (2005) written by Jeremy Spillman and Dave Turnbull and recorded by Trace Adkins
This is a hugely powerful song in the voice of a fallen soldier being returned to his parents and to his final resting place, Arlington National Cemetery, a place he had visited as a child with his father to see his grandfather’s grave.
The song was hugely popular and was steadily combing the charts when Trace got word that some military families had some issues with it. So, without a moment’s hesitation, Trace had his record label stop promoting the song because—in spite of the many people who loved the tune—the last thing he wanted to do was cause a military family any discomfort.

“Ragged Old Flag” (1974) written and performed by Johnny Cash
This is simply a beautifully eloquent tribute to the ideals that are America and the flag that represents them. Johnny carefully crafted the lyrics in such a way that a ragged flag on a courthouse square is battered, torn and scarred from the battles she’s been in, but still flying high. And as an old man on a park bench details the flag’s imperfections to a stranger, he re-discovers his own pride in America and sums it up like this: “And she’s getting thread bare, and she’s wearing thin, but she’s in good shape, for the shape she’s in. ‘Cause she’s been through the fire before and I believe she can take a whole lot more.”

“They Also Serve” (2005) written by Jerry Holthouse and Tony Seibert and recorded by John Conlee
This song looks at the often-ignored side of a soldier’s service to his or her country—the loved ones left behind to keep the home fires burning. Inspired by scenes of the soldiers shipping off to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan, the song struck an especially poignant chord with John, whose own son was getting ready to join the conflict not long after the song was recorded. It’s been hugely uplifting to family members who’ve heard the song and realize that the sacrifices they’re making and the service they’re providing by doing without their military loved ones are appreciated. And they absolutely should be.

“Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)” (2002) written and recorded by Alan Jackson
While not a patriotic song in the traditional sense, this song, written by Alan shortly after the 9/11 attacks, may in fact be the ultimate patriotic song. It addresses and validates all the emotions, thoughts and concerns that Americans felt after that horrific day. Whether he’s asking, “Did you dust off that bible at home or go out and buy you a gun,” Alan reveals how well he knows the rest of us by examining the effects on our national psyche the day so many were brutally taken from us. He ends each chorus as he ends the song, with the reminder that the greatest gift God gave us is love. It’s nothing short of a masterpiece, and Alan brought honor to the entire country music industry through writing it and offering it to people who might otherwise never have listened to country music—people who needed healing.

“Have You Forgotten” (2003) written by Wynn Varble and Darryl Worley and recorded by Darryl Worley
It’s hard to find a more passionate supporter of our military than Darryl. And after a USO tour of Afghanistan over the 2002 Christmas holidays, he knew he had to do something to fight for our service men and women the way he saw them fighting for us. So he and buddy Wynn Varble, who, like Darryl, thought a lot of Americans were settling back into a pre-war mindset, decided to write a song to remind all of us why we’re fighting.
The first performances of the song were on the Grand Ole Opry stage. “At the first Friday night show, they started applauding in the middle of the song,” recalls Darryl. “It startled me so much that I forgot a line. Every performance of it that weekend got ridiculous ovations. On the televised Grand Ole Opry show on Saturday night, people actually stood up at the beginning of the song and remained standing throughout the whole performance. They cheered and cheered and cheered. I’d never seen anything like it.
“By Monday morning, the label was getting phone calls from all over the country,” he continues. “Everyone was trying to get the song. So we put together a meeting as quick as we could. We set up a recording date right then. And it’s been like a whirlwind ever since.” The song was a career record that wound up spending six weeks at No. 1.

“I Just Came Back From A War” (2006) written by Wynn Varble and Darryl Worley and performed by Darryl Worley
In much the same way “Have You Forgotten” was inspired by events Darryl experienced while on a tour supporting our troops, “I Just Came Back from a War” was inspired by more conversations with troops…and by one specific event.
“I was talkin’ to this kid and he was telling me a very intense story,” explains Darryl. “Something had happened to him when he got home [from the war]. He got into a little trouble. It was obviously a product of what he’d been through. And this line just came to me, ‘Hey man, you know what? Cut me a little slack. I just came back from a war.’ And I just wrote that line down real fast. And I remember getting chills.

“In God We Still Trust” (2005) written by Kim Nash, Bill Nash and Rob LeClair and recorded by Diamond Rio
The reception to this song was curious, to say the least. It’s not overtly patriotic in a pro military or pro war sense, but it’s absolutely patriotic in its call to preserve America’s spiritual heritage and tradition. From the first performance, and at numerous shows thereafter (possibly even to this day), audiences rose to their feet and began cheering before Diamond Rio reached the first chorus. Yet the tune received precious little radio airplay. It’s obvious by the audience response that a lot of people embraced the song’s message—that a large and vital portion of America’s essential cultural fabric is being systematically eroded with the removal of any references to God. As might be expected, the song has its critics. But, there’s no denying that many thousands of country fans see things the way Diamond Rio does.
“Where the Stars and the Stripes and the Eagle Fly” (2001) written by Aaron Tippin, Casey Beathard and Kenny Beard and recorded byAaron Tippin
This tune was written about two-and-a-half years before the 9/11 attacks. But after that terrible day, Aaron knew it was time to finally record it and get the single out. And, lest anyone question his motives, Aaron made sure that proceeds from the song went to the American Red Cross. The song, like others of the period, lauds America’s virtues—freedom, hard work and the “lady in the harbor.” It was the kind of message a lot of fans wanted to hear from a man who has embodied patriotism throughout his career. “This song is an opportunity to speak to people,” said Aaron at the time. “And I hope it will help our country heal.”

“The Eagle” (1991) written by Hank Cochran, Red Lane and Mack Vickery and performed by Waylon Jennings
The eagle is a perfect metaphor for America—strong and willing to be peaceful, unless its feathers are ruffled. Then, the eye and talons that have been kept sharp through a period of calm may be pressed into service to deal with whatever threats may be on the horizon…or knocking on our door. Waylon delivers it masterfully and, coming near the time of the first Gulf War, it met with a receptive audience among country music fans.

“American Soldier” (2003) written by Toby Keith and Chuck Cannon and performed by Toby Keith
This song shows a side of Toby’s patriotism that a lot of people might have been surprised to see after having experienced the in-your-face righteous indignation he showcased in “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” in 2002. But “American Soldier” is simply the story of a family man who’s just trying to “Be a father, raise a daughter and a son, Be a lover to their mother, everything to everyone.” And, along with that, he straps on his boots and serves his country, knowing he’s got what it takes to do his duty, no matter what the price. This quiet strength is comforting in a way that an angrier song can’t be—even though they can both have their place at one time or another. But, as Toby states so simply, the bottom line with both tunes is that, because of American soldiers, we can sleep in peace tonight.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Listen!

Can anyone do ANYTHING these days, without a cell phone stuck to their ear or a pair of ear buds or headphones? Put it down and listen to the world around you…the sound of children playing in a park or at the pool, hollering and yelling at each other…”hey give me back my I-Pod”, “give me back my video game!”…listen to the bees buzzing…or your drunk buzzing neighbor buzzing and then cussing anyone around him cause the liquor store has already closed. Listen to sounds on the street…the passing cars…the un-mufflered trucks and motorcycles…the working girls in Arco trying to get your attention as you drive by…”hey mister…”…the sound of yankees on the pier…”I really like it here, but the heat and the bugs…and these fireworks bring over too many commoners to the island…”you know, come to think of it, maybe the folks with the ear buds and phones stuck to their ears are onto something…maybe it’s better to drown the world around us…and get back to something a little calmer…forget all that stuff…just crank up the radio…we’ll give you what you need.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Great Arizona Billboard

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Great Arizona Billboard

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: ID

I must show ID when:

1. Pulled over by the police.
2. Making purchases on my department store credit card.

3. When I show up for a doctor's appointment.

4. When filling out a credit card or loan application.

5. When applying for or renewing a driver's license or passport.

6. When applying for any kind of insurance.

7. When filling out college applications.

8. When donating blood.

9. When obtaining certain prescription drugs.

10. When making some debit purchases, especially if I'm out of state.

11. When collecting a boarding pass for airline or train travel.

I'm sure there are more instances, but the point is that we citizens of the USA are required to prove who we are nearly every day. Why should people in this country illegally be exempt?

GO ARIZONA !!!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: How To Fix Congress

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!!
A friend sent this along to me. I can't think of a reason to disagree.

I am sending this to virtually everybody on my e-mail list and that includes conservatives, liberals, and everybody in between. Even though we disagree on a number of issues, I count all of you as friends. My friend and neighbor wants to promote a "Congressional Reform Act of 2010".. It would contain eight provisions, all of which would probably be strongly endorsed by those who drafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights..

I know many of you will say, "this is impossible". Let me remind you, Congress has the lowest approval of any entity in Government, now is the time when Americans will join together to reform Congress - the entity that represents us.

We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House. These people will become American heros

Thanks,

A Fellow American

***********************************




Congressional Reform Act of 2010


1. Term Limits: 12 years only, one of the possible options below.

A. Two Six year Senate terms
B. Six Two year House terms
C. One Six year Senate term and three Two Year House terms

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.




2. No Tenure / No Pension:

A congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.




3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security:

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund moves to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, Congress participates with the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, server your term(s), then go home and back to work.




4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan just as all Americans.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.




5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work..





6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.





7. Congress must equally abide in all laws they impose on the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.




8. All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work..

BANANAS & MILKDUDS

Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated...
He details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in an
F-14 Tomcat.. If you aren't laughing out loud by the time you get
To 'Milk Duds,' your sense of humor is seriously broken.




This message is for America 's most famous athletes:
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country's
most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have. John Elway,
John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity,
let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity.... Move to Guam !

Change your name.

Fake your own death!

Whatever you do, Do Not Go!!!

I know.

The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped.
I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would
be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station
Oceana in Virginia Beach ..

Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks
like, triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair,
finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles
dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the
other way. Fast.

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the
Voice of NASA missions. ('T-minus 15 seconds and counting'. Remember?)
Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad.
Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting
for him to say, 'We have liftoff'.

Biff was to fly me in an F- 14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million
weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie.
I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked
Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.

'Bananas,' he said.

'For the potassium?' I asked.

'No,' Biff said, 'because they taste about the same coming up
as they do going down.'

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name
sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot.
but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had
instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened
me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would 'egress' me out
of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked
unconscious.

Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me,
and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose
up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.
It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails.
We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and
dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute.
We chased another F-14, and it chased us.



We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at
200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5,
which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing
against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.

And I egressed the bananas.

And I egressed the pizza from the night before.

And the lunch before that.

I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.

I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing
stuff that never thought would be egressed.

I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

Biff said I passed out. Twice.. I was coated in sweat. At one point,
as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock
bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I
was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person
In history to throw down.

I used to know 'cool'. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass,
or Norman making a five-iron bite.. But now I really know 'cool'.
Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves.
I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm
glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever
makes in a home stand.

A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said
he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd
send it on a patch for my flight suit.

What is it? I asked.

'Two Bags.'

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A Pastor With Guts

A Pastor with GUTS!

Thought you might enjoy this interesting
prayer given in Kansas at
the opening session of their Senate. It seems
prayer still upsets some
people... When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open
the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is



what they heard:

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask
your forgiveness and to seek your direction and
guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those
who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we
have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed
our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it
the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it
welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it
choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it
justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our
children and called it building self esteem..

We have abused power and called it
politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions
and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and
pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values
of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts
today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.
Amen!


The response was immediate. A number of
legislators walked out during the prayer in
protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian
Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than
5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls
responding negatively.. The church is now receiving
international requests for copies of this prayer
from India , Africa and Korea .

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on
his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,'and
received a larger response to this program than any
other he has ever aired.


With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep
over our nation and wholeheartedly become our
desire so that we again can be called 'one nation
under God.'

If possible, please pass this prayer on to
your friends. 'If you don't stand for something,
you will fall for everything.'

Think about this: If you forward this
prayer to everyone on your
e-mail list, in less than 30 days it would be
heard by the world.

How many people in your address book will
not receive this prayer.....do you have the guts to pass it on?

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Waiting On The Doc"

A friend of mine sent this in:

"I went to see a doctor for a follow-up visit. I made the appointment 6 months ago at HIS convenience for 9:30 am. I show up for my appointment 10 minutes early. By 10 am still no sign of the doctor and there are three patients in front of me to see the same doctor. This is not the first time I had to wait for this doctor; the last time was more than 2 hours. I approached the window and asked if I would be charged for the visit if I left right then because I was there for my appointment and the doctor was not. She responded that they were terribly busy and that the doctor would get to me as soon as he could. Not good enough! I felt I was being held hostage by this doctor and told the receptionist that I was leaving; my time was just as valuable to me as the doctor's time was to him. I LEFT! This doctor's office would not be getting $200 from my insurance today. If more people did the same thing, maybe the doctors would stop making appointments 5 minutes apart and not treat us like dollar $ign$."

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Illegal Immigration Problem Solved!

President Obama wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use..... The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants! That would be 15 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down..... Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders.... When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan .... Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military.... Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it...... After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident..... This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. ....... If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo..... problem solved.