Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Another head-on fatality on the Causeway!

Here we go again. The sad news that yet another motorist has been killed in a
head-on crash on the St. Simons Island Causeway. 30 year old St. Simon Island resident Joshua Franklin became the third person to die from a head-on crash on the roadway within two months. How many more people will have to die until the Georgia Department of Transportation officials pull their head out from the butts and put in a divider. The DOT keeps saying that a divider is not the answer. Hmmm. Why did they put one on the new Sidney Lanier Bridge? Let's put it back on the DOT. If a traffic divider is not the answer to traffic fatalities on The Causeway, then what is the answer? Are you gonna slow down traffic? Don't think so. Police officials admit that's be hard to do. Are you cut down the number of vehicles on the stretch of road? Don't think so! Enforce a ban on using cell phones while driving? See above about cutting down on speeding! The most logical answer is a barrier that would keep vehicles from crossing into on-coming traffic. A well respected local politician and a retired police chief recently told me that when it comes to common sense answers to hard problems, The DOT has never gotten it. And, sadly never will unless we the citizens crank up the heat on city, county and state officials! Start making the calls today!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "No Real South Georgia Rednecks In NASCAR."

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Why there are no South Georgia Redneck Drivers in Nascar.
Everytime Tony Stewart wins a race he makes all of the heavy people proud! It ain't every day that you see a fat man climb a fence like that. Someone told me that they like Tony because he can "redneck up" with the best of us. That's true, he can certainly do that, but he ain't a real South Georgia Redneck. In fact I don't think NASCAR could handle one of us. I thought that the Truck series might be a way for one us to get in the driver's seat. Unfortunately that idea hasn't panned out, yet. Probably won't due to some important factors such as these:

The Top 9 Reasons That There No South Georgia Redneck Drivers in NASCAR

9. No room in the back for a cooler.

8. No room to hang a rifle.

7. Dog not allowed to ride in the back.

6..Kinda hard to keep a toothpick in your mouth with that full face helmet.

5..Bubba can't ride shotgun while you're racing.

4. No place on car to fly the old Georgia flag.

3. They won't let you get a just redneck "five dollar's worth" fill-up during a pit stop

2. You can't eat a piece of fried chicken while you're driving, and then throw the bones out the window.

and the top reason that are no South Georgia Redneck Drivers in NASCAR.
….They won't let you listen to Wave 104.1 while you're racing.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "The Price of Gas."

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The price of gas.

I've often said that one of the signs of getting middle-aged is when you start talking about the price of gas. Well, hold on!
Not only am I talking about it, I'm ticked off about it! Mighty curious that the price just jumped up a good bit just in time for the warmer weather. What are we gonna do? Not a darn thing!
We'll still drive the same amount, and we'll still drive at a high rate of speed which equals a higher rate of gas consumption than if we drove sensibly. The oil companies have us by the short hairs. We're addicted. Just like a crack addict needs that fix, we gotta have the petrol! The oil companies had all kinds of reasons for huge increases at the pump: hurricanes,
tornados, locusts, global warming, the war in Iraq, etc... Bottom line, these scoundrels had their best year ever! We're talking record profits at our expense. Sure, Congress "looked" into it; but they didn't do a thing. Wouldn't be prudent!
Big oil puts a lot of money into a lot of campaign funds. With the technology that we come up with it, you'd think that we'd have more alternative sources of fuel to push our big trucks and fast cars. How about an engine that runs on tap water?
There's hydrogen in that stuff Jethro! Ought to be enough to make the GTO go! Imagine if we could run the SUV off of pee!
There wouldn't be a beer swilling redneck in Georgia without a full tank in his truck! "Hey Bubba we're down to a quarter tank, we better stop at the liquor store and get another case of Bud so we can fill up the Silverado." Somebody told me to quit complaining and to drive a smaller vehicle. Don't thinks so! I'm a big-boned South Georgia Portagee Redneck that needs to be comfortable when I drive! I've driven enough small clown-size cars in my life-time. Besides, I'm now 46. It is my duty as a middle-aged man to complain about the price of gas.
My Daddy did it, and is still doing it. One day my son, JoJo, will do it. Remember now more than ever: fill it, but don't spill it!

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Where Have All The Leaders Gone?"

Where Have All The Leaders Gone !

Lee Iacocca Says:

'Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening?
Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder.
We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over
a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't
even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But
instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when
the politicians say, 'Stay the course'

Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America , not the
damned 'Titanic'. I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the bums out!'

You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and
maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this
country anymore.

The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in
handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq , the Middle East is bur ning and
nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving 'pom-poms'
instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of the '
America ' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had
enough. How about you?

I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not
outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have.

The Biggest 'C' is Crisis !

Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis.
It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory.
Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield
yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down.

On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other
time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the
ashes. A Hell of a Mess

So here 's whe re we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no
plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest
deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the
manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great companies are
getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are
skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our
schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle
class is being squeezed every which way These are times that cry out
for leadership.

But when you look around, you've got to ask: 'Where have all the
leaders gone?' Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where
are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and
common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you
get the point.

Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than
making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our
shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new
bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have
already happened.

Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina.
Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to
the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that
were made in the crucial hours after the storm.

Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen
again. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a
plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.

Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we
can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have
believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three'
referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more
important, what are we going to do about it?

Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying
down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health
care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises
that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry.

I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on
your butts and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is
being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity.
What is everybody so afraid of? That some bonehead on Fox News
will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some
spine for a change?

Had Enough?

Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm
trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope I
believe in America . In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living
through some of America's greatest moments.
I've also experienced some of our worst crises:
the 'Great Depression', 'World War II', the 'Korean War', the
'Kennedy Assassination', the 'Vietnam War', the 1970's oil crisis,
and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11.

If I've learned one thing, it's this: 'You don't get anywhere by
standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action.
Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for
our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising
in this book. It's a call to 'Action' for people who, like me, believe in
It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake
off the crap and go to
work. Let's tell 'em all we've had 'enough.'

Excerpted from 'Where Have All the Leaders Gone?'.

Copyright (c) 2007 by Lee Iacocca. All rights reserved

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A New Pledge

New Pledge of Allegiance

Since the Pledge of Allegiance
and The Lord's Prayer
are not allowed in most
public schools anymore
Because the word "God" is mentioned....
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached

NEW School prayer: -
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Too Many Flags?"

Businesses in Glynn County being fined for flying American Flag? Amazing! Our local government geniuses made against the law to fly more than flag. How can this be? If you ask me, you can't fly enough flags! Think of all of the veterans that have fought for that flag. This ordinance is an insult to every man and woman who has served our country. Remember the Johnny Cash song about "That Ragged Old Flag"?
Read the lyrics. This says it all:

"That Ragged Old Flag" by Johnny Cash

I walked through a county courthouse square
On a park bench, an old man was sittin' there.
I said, "Your old court house is kinda run down,
He said, "Naw, it'll do for our little town".
I said, "Your old flag pole is leaned a little bit,
And that’s a ragged old flag you got hangin' on it".
He said, "Have a seat", and I sat down,
"Is this the first time you've been to our little town"
I said, "I think it is"
He said "I don’t like to brag, but we’re kinda proud of
That Ragged Old Flag

"You see, we got a little hole in that flag there,
When Washington took it across the Delaware.
and It got powder burned the night Francis Scott Key sat watching it,
writing "Say Can You See"
It got a rip in New Orleans, with Packingham & Jackson
tugging at its seams.
and It almost fell at the Alamo
beside the Texas flag,
But she waved on though.
She got cut with a sword at Chancellorsville,
And she got cut again at Shiloh Hill.
There was Robert E. Lee and Beauregard and Bragg,
And the south wind blew hard on
That Ragged Old Flag

"On Flanders Field in World War I,
She got a big hole from a Bertha Gun,
She turned blood red in World War II
She hung limp, and low, a time or two,
She was in Korea, Vietnam, She went where she was sent
by her Uncle Sam.
She waved from our ships upon the briny foam
and now they've about quit wavin' back here at home
in her own good land here She’s been abused,
She's been burned, dishonored, denied an' refused,
And the government for which she stands
Has been scandalized throughout out the land.
And she’s getting thread bare, and she’s wearin' thin,
But she’s in good shape, for the shape she’s in.
Cause she’s been through the fire before
and i believe she can take a whole lot more.

"So we raise her up every morning
And we bring her down slow every night,
We don’t let her touch the ground,
And we fold her up right.
On second thought
I *do* like to brag
Cause I’m mighty proud of
That Ragged Old Flag"

Monday, February 4, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Who Am I?"

"Who Am I?"

I have no respect for justice.

I maim without killing.

I break hearts and ruin lives.

I am cunning and malicious and gather strength
with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.

I flourish at every level of society.

My victims are helpless; they cannot protect
themselves against me because I have no
name and no face.

To track me down is impossible. The harder you
try, the more elusive I become.

I am nobody's friend.

I topple governments and ruin marriages.

I end ministries set up by G~d.

I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights,
heartache and indigestion.

I spawn suspicion and generate grief.

I make headlines, headaches and heartaches

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

Even my name hisses.