Thursday, September 25, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Now here's a bail out!

Got this in an email this morning.

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in
a "We Deserve It Dividend."

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000
bonafide adults in the U.S.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman
and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a
"We Deserve It Dividend."

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket!
A husband and wife has $595,000.00!

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage? – housing crisis solved!
Repay college loans? – what a great boost to new grads!
Put away money for college? – it'll be there!
Save in a bank? – create money to loan to entrepreneurs!
Buy a new car? – create jobs!
Invest in the market? – capital drives growth!
Pay for your medical insurance? – health care improves!
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean?

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company
that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out
a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it!
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine? ...How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion
"We Deserve It Dividend" more than I do the geniuses at
AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned
instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A Recent Email

Here's an email that I recently received:

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids.

He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, 'You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day.'

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a co mputer nor an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, 'You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm Good day.'

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adv iser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, 'What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!'

'Ha!' snorts the man. 'If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour.'

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire

Sadly, I received it also.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: pigs and lipstick

BARACK OBAMA's campaign says JOHN McCAIN is offering lies, phony outrage and swift boat politics by claiming he made a sexist comment at a rally Tuesday in Virginia. At issues is Obama's comment that you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. He used that old saying while arguing McCain's economic policies are just like PRESIDENT BUSH's. The McCain camp accused Obama of smearing Governor Palin.
Obama's campaign points out that McCain has used that phrase himself , most recently while talking about HILLARY CLINTON. That is, while talking about Hillary Clinton's policies.

Does anyone really believe that Obama called Sarah Palin a pig? Don't be silly.
This was not an insult as much as it was ill-advised and a very ill-conceived line because it opened the door for political opportunism. We're in a touchy place: The area where you can't go too heavy on Obama because he's black or you can't go too heavy because Palin is a woman.
We have to decide whether or not we wanna protect these candidates from intense scrutiny or not, and tough campaigning or not, and whether we will defend these candidates because we've taken a liking to them and then feel personally insulted by comments that get twisted and manipulated by savvy campaign managers who trick you into believing the message they want you to believe. This is what political advisors talk about when they're alone and talking about how deft they are at their craft. These are smart, savvy people --as good as any we've ever seen-- and they know exactly how to move the masses. They know they have great power, and all it takes is one word, one phrase --to cast the impression they want, to get you to think the way they want you to. If they didn't have that kind of power, we'd be talking about issues and not lipstick.
And here's the important lesson, the critical component as this latest emotionally driven non-story demonstrates: Candidates must understand that they are not campaigning against their opponents; they are campaigning against campaign advisers. Beat them and you win the election.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings

Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings

As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the firm's guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to
avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.

Hurricane Category #3
Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you
avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be
provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4
More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we
will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take
extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when
the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate
cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.

Have A Nice Day!