Tuesday, May 27, 2008



This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes . (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

Monday, May 26, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "An Old Farmer's Advice."

"An Old Farmer's Advice"

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight
and bull-strong. **

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. **

*** Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a
John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...
not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner
than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a
grudge. **

*** You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't
never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get
older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't
botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a
rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to
do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever
have to deal with, watches you from the mirror
every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and
a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to G~d.*

Friday, May 23, 2008

Joe Willie on The Shrimpbox; A Tradition we Could Live Without!

Here we are getting ready for the long weekend. It's Memorial Day weekend! The unofficial start of summer! A long weekend that gives you an extra day to sleep in.
The perfect time for a family gathering or outing. Your chance to see the new Indiana jones movie. Oh yeah, don't forget...you can't have a summer holiday weekend without higher gas prices!

Unfortunately, it's become an American tradition! Yes, just like you can expect the sun to rise each morning over the Atlantic Ocean...you can also expect the cost of filling up our cars and trucks to keep going up. We're told that it's all about supply and demand. It's the summer driving season so gas prices must go up! If that's all that it is, then why doesn't the price of beer go up on weekends...why isn't barbeque sauce prices not moving up? Why isn't a bucket of fried chicken more expensive on the weekend?

It is all supply and demand right?

Truth is, oil price increases are the result of frantic speculation – futures.
Oil is the number one traded commodity. Picture 100% of the global production and/or extraction of oil from the ground. Ten times that… or hundred times that resource changes hands annually on the stock markets of the World.

It’s liquid gold. And like real Gold, if you had to buy solid Gold several times a week, you would be feeling the same pinch in our beloved free market society.

As for the future? Are we screwed?
Yea. Pretty much.

Have a safe Memorial Day weekend. Drive safely – if you can afford to.
Or stay home with your friends and family. Pick some up some yardbird, some ribs and do some grillin' and chillin' at home!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Things Got You Down?

Things Got Ya Down?

Well Then, Consider These .. . ..

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am, all of the doctors and nurses nervo usly waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Willie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a ki ller whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse inBonn, Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
&nb sp; The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it..
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better??

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "What Everybody Was Talking About In 1955"

"Comments Made In The Year 1955"

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way
they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's
groceries for $20.'

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year?
It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to
quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.'

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about
charging a dime just to mail a letter?'

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will
be able to hire outside help at the store.'

'When I first started driving, who would have thought
gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess
we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'

'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts
make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you
know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the

I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more.
Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn'
in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie
has either 'hell' or 'damn' in it.

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's
possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the
century. They even have some fellows they call
astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.'

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: You Don't Always Get The Last Word.

A friend of mine sent this in. It's a great reminder that you don't always get in the last word. Just when you think you can't be topped, you're blindsided!

"Best Divorce letter"

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and
I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks
have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice
I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
want sex or anything that connects us as husband
and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't
love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have
a great life!


"Best Response to a Divorce Letter"

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7
years, although a good man is a far cry from what
you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown
out your constant whining and griping. Too bad
that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week,
but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You
look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something
nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,
because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could
work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to

But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have
the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't
get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell And Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not
a problem.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: To Build A Jail Annex Or Not

A few random thoughts on the Jail controversy in downtown Brunswick:

One of the main arguments that anti-jail folks use is that the jail will destroy the character of Downtown Brunswick and thwart future development. My question have you seen what's around the jail and courthouse, now. Why don't go ahead and put your money where your mouth is, and buy the property around it. The next step is to raze the slum houses that are there now. Show us that you are serious about revitalization!

How many more buildings does the county government really need? How many more offices do we need? The office Park building is still not finished. We're now told that we need to add on to the Harold Pate Court House Annex. Do we really need to spend all of this money?

I just recently found out that we've already built a holding facility for jail trustees and other minimum security prisoners. Do we still need to build a $20 million facility? Here's a better idea. Get the Office Park Building ready and convert it to a jail. I call this my common sense plan. Oh, I forgot: that will never work. When it comes to spending your tax money common sense is never give a chance to work.