Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Brunswick City Officials Go To China"

I have nothing against having a sister city in China. It's probably a good idea. I'm just not a big fan of having the taxpayers foot part of the bill. I know that we were told that the Chinese were paying for the entire trip except for about ten thousand dollars. City Manager Roosevelt Harris even explained that the money was not coming from the general fund. He said it was coming from a special fund that had been set aside for things like this. Hey Rosie! It's still taxpayer money! Money that we apparently didn't have enough of to pay our city workers without putting some on furlough. How do you explain this kind of economics to the ones that have seen their paychecks cut? Next time instead of spending taxpayer money let's get a corporate sponsor to fund the trip. We could just put it on Sea Island's tab. They probably wouldn't even notice...since they already owe just everybody around here anyway!

Here are the top 4 things overheard during the Brunswick delegation's latest trip to China:

4. Since they already own half of our country,maybe we could get them to help out Sea Island.

3. Hey Skinny, Funny Man...Deal or No Deal!

2. See if you can get them to build a factory at Liberty Harbor.

...and the top thing overheard during the Brunswick delegation's latest trip to China:

I've never seen a Peking Duck with four legs and whiskers.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: an idea about tolerance

My old friend Bubba Ray Smith has an idea about tolerance:

I am shocked that so many Americans are against building a mosque near Ground Zero.We should allow it, but in order to promote tolerance....

I propose that a country honky tonk and a hip hop club could bee opened next door to the mosque to promote tolerance in the mosque. We could call it "The Turban Cowboy" and "You Mecca Me Hot". Next door on the other side, could be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and pork products, and makes a nice lunchtime pulled pork sandwich. Then across the street, a very daring lingerie store, called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret”.

And, skin heads & white supremacists would be renting a store front tattoo parlor just above the butcher shop, which would of course be just a few feet down from the Armed Forces Recruiting Office … just a step or two from the VA administration office. To make the neighborhood and street complete I also propose that we build the largest Southern Baptist Church in the country with shared parking with the mosque, which must allow use of their parking lot for old fashioned tent revivals. You know.... just to promote that, “tolerance thing”!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Hell’s Angels are looking for a new area for a clubhouse…Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yep, I know the perfect area. Hey, just trying to promote that tolerance thing. I’m a good person who has concerns for my fellow citizens… what can I say? If your tolerance promoting is similar to mine then by all means pass this along, especially to politicians everywhere.

Signed, Bubba Ray Smith, TPM (tolerance promoting manager) of the good ole US of A.

**This message was made in America without harming any cats or dogs…or fish… or horses, or cows or chickens or pigs or ferrets.

PS. Did I mention that the women from P.E.T.A. would be naked on every street corner raising awareness about the evils of wearing fur? Gosh I love this country….Wish everybody did.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The 5 Best Sentences

A Norman Rockwell Moment ...
These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the
wealth out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must
work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government
does not first take from somebody else.

4. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to
work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the
other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody
else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the
beginning of the end of any nation.

5. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

OIL - you better sit down. ..

Here's an interesting read, important and verifiable information :

About 6 months ago, the writer was watching a news program on oil and
one of the Forbes Bros. was the guest. The host said to Forbes, "I am going to
ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil
does the U.S. have in the ground?" Forbes did not miss a beat, he said, "more
than all the Middle East put together." Please read below.

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April 2008 that only
scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big. It was a
revised report (hadn't been updated since 1995) on how much oil was in
this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota , western South Dakota , and extreme eastern Montana … check THIS out:

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska 's Prudhoe
Bay, and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign
oil. The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion
barrels. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable... at $107 a barrel,
we're looking at a resource base worth more than $5..3 trillion.

"When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see
their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea.." says Terry Johnson, the Montana
Legislature's financial analyst.

"This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found
in the past 56 years," reports The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. It's a
formation known as the Williston Basin , but is more commonly referred to as the
'Bakken.' It stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and
into Canada ... For years, U. S. oil exploration has been considered a dead
end. Even the 'Big Oil' companies gave up searching for major oil wells
decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up
the Bakken's massive reserves...and we now have access of up to 500
billion barrels. And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels
will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!

That's enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 2041 years
straight. And if THAT didn't throw you on the floor, then this next one
should - because it's from 2006!

U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World

Stansberry Report Online - 4/20/2006

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the
largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION
barrels. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In
three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this
mother load of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?

They reported this stunning news: We have more oil inside our borders,
than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates:

- 8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia

- 18-times as much oil as Iraq

- 21-times as much oil as Kuwait

- 22-times as much oil as Iran

- 500-times as much oil as Yemen

- and it's all right here in the Western United States .

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because the
environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America
become independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of
people dictate our lives and our economy.....WHY?

James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we've got more oil in
this very compact area than the entire Middle East -more than 2 TRILLION
barrels untapped. That's more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in
the world today, reports The Denver Post.

Don't think 'OPEC' will drop its price - even with this find? Think
again! It's all about the competitive marketplace, - it has to. Think OPEC just
might be funding the environmentalists?

Got your attention yet? Now, while you're thinking about it, do this:

Pass this along. If you don't take a little time to do this, then you
should stifle yourself the next time you complain about gas prices - by
doing NOTHING, you forfeit your right to complain.


Now I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you
sent this to every one in your address book.

By the way...this is all true. Check it out at the link below!!!

GOOGLE it, or follow this link. It will blow your mind.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "A GaGa Challenge"

Lady GaGa made headlines again recently with her choice of wardrobe. The wild singer showed up at the Video Awards Show wearing a meat dress. It was a garment made of real raw meat. I am now mad that she hasn't shown the same love for seafood. Hey GaGa, how bout a little respect for the "fruit of the sea"? I am putting a direct challenge for her to wear my specially designed shrimp shirt. If she accepts this offer we will give her V.I.P treatment at this weekend's Wild Georgia Shrimp & Grits Festival in Jekyll Island's Historic District. I will wear this shirt tomorrow morning during the Wave 104.1 morning show (streaming at As you can tell by the photo this attire is very aromatic.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Teacher's Application"

"Teacher's Application"

After being interviewed by the school administration,
the teaching prospect said, 'Let me see if I've got
this right:

You want me to go into that room with all those kids,
correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for
signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor
their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for

You want me to check their backpacks for weapons,
wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases,
and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

You want me to teach them patriotism and good
citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how
to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply
for a job.

You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize
signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure they all
pass the state exams.

You want me to provide them with an equal education
regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly
with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and
report cards.

You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a
blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile,
and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

You want me to do all this, and then you tell me that

Friday, September 10, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Wrecking Ball Sequels

With the recent success of the "Wrecking Ball", the United Way of Coastal Georgia's kick-off event, we should try to come up with a few sequels. The name came from the soon to be demolition of the Jekyll island Convention Center or as it was known to us locals "the Aquarama". I say we find other places in the community that either need renovation or removal and that we do a big dance there as a fund raiser.

Here's a few ideas:

As a tribute to those rascals that skipped town after trying to convince us that folks would actually want to live in an expensive home next to a gypsum plant and a frozen food plant we could go to "The Liberty Harbor Gettin' Out of Town Throw down."

For that rain damaged store on Cypress Mill Road we could promote "The Raise Roof Old brunswick Mall Family Dollar Dance."

The downtown crowd would love "The Move The Jailhouse Rock the Night Away."

And of course we could really clean up one of the city's most blighted areas with the Norwich Street Soiree and Arco Ho-down."

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Things that you should learn in high school"

From Educator Charles Sykes's book "Dumbing Down Our Kids"

"11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school"

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Inner Peace"

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

.....Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "A New Disease"

Gonorrhea Lectim

Information about Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim.

It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.

Many victims contracted it in 2008...but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout.

You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again;

Otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey , and apparently now Massachusetts , with many more seeing the writing on the wall.