Friday, May 22, 2009

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Stress e

Rich Hancock sent me this:

Stress test

Read the full description before looking at the picture.
The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it..
It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary 's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water.
The dolphins are identical.
A closely monitored scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins.
The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you need to go on vacation.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: I'm Voting for This Guy!

Bill Cosby has a great way of distilling things. Looks like hes done it again!



(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour).. They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes
Bill Cosby

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A Police Officer's prayer

Monday, May 11, 2009

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Cops On The Take

Sgt. Richard Evans with the Brunswick Police Department sent this in:

First they take ... the oath.
then :
They take ... it in stride when people curse at them and call them foul names.
They take... a second job sometimes to make ends meet and support their family.
They take ... time to stop and talk to children.
They take... your verbal abuse while giving a ticket which was really deserved.
They take ... on creeps you would be afraid to even look at.
They take ... time away from their family to keep you safe.
They take ... your injured child to the hospital.
They take ... the graveyard shift without complaint because it's their turn.
They take ... their life into their own hands daily.
They take... time to explain why both your headlights have to work.
They take... the job no one else wants -- telling you a loved one has died.
They take ... in sights that would make you cry. Sometimes he cries too, but they take it anyway because someone has to.
They take ... memories to bed each night that you couldn't bear for even one day.
They take ... time to explain to their family why they can't make the ball game their child is in and why they have to work on the holiday when other parents are off.
Sometimes... They take a bullet.
And yes, occasionally ... They take a free cup of coffee.
If they are lucky ... They take retirement.
Then one day they pay for all that has been taken ...and hopefully, God will take them.

Have you thanked a cop lately for all they do? Try it. When you see a cop in the super market, standing in line in a cafeteria, shopping, or anywhere else. Try it. It will make the cop's day. It will certainly be a blessing to you also!!

Written by Texas police officer as a tribute to his brother, Police Officer Rodney Kendrick, who died in the line of duty....July 2001