Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Vanishing Things"

One person's opinion but it does seem possible

As received

1. The Post Office:

Get ready to imagine a world without the post office.
They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably
no way to sustain it long term.
Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the
minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive.
Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

2. The Check:

Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with cheques by 2018.
In Europe they are hardly used now.
It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks.
Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise
of the check. This plays right into the death of the post office.
If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail,
the post office would absolutely go out of business

3. The Newspaper:

The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper.
They certainly don't subscribe to a daily delivered print edition.
That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man.
As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it.
The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused
all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance.
They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone
companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.

4. The Book:

You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold
in your hand and turn the literal pages. I said the same thing about
downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I
quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get
albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the
latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can
browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter
before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book.
And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your
fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are
lost in the story, can't wait to see what happens next, and you
forget that you're holding a gadget instead of a book.

5. The Land Line Telephone:

Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls,
you don't need it anymore. Most people keep it simply
because they're always had it. But you are paying double
charges for that extra service.
All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using
the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.

6. Music:

This is one of the saddest parts of the change story.
The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because
of illegal downloading. It's the lack of innovative new music
being given a chance to get to the people who would like
to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem. The record
labels and the radio conglomerates simply self-destruction.
Over 40% of the music purchased today is "catalogue items,"
meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older
established artists. This is also true on the live concert circuit.
To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check
out the book, "Appetite for Self-Destruction" by Steve Knopper,
and the video documentary, "Before the Music Dies."

7. Television:

Revenues to the networks are down dramatically. Not just because
of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed
from their computers. And they're playing games and doing all lots
of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV.
Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest
common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials
run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to
most of it It's time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery.
Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.

8. The "Things" That You Own:

Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives,
but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply
reside in "the cloud." Today your computer has a hard drive and
you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your
software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if
need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and
Google are all finishing up their latest "cloud services." That
means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be
built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the
Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an
icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save
something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a
monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider.

In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books,
or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device.
That's the good news. But, will you actually own any of this
"stuff" or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in
a big "Poof?" Will most of the things in our lives be disposable
and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull
out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a
CD case and pull out the insert.

9. Privacy:

If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically,
it would be privacy. That's gone. It's been gone for a long time anyway.
There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even
built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7
"They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS
coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something,
your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to
reflect those habits. And "They" will try to get you to buy something
else. Again and again.

.....All we will have that can't be changed are Memories......
Take Heed!

Author Unknown.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Monkey Shines!

Best analogy I've seen in quite a while.........
We need to do this!!!

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes the attempt with same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his shock, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know, that is the way it has always been done around here.

And that, gentlemen, is how Congress operates....

We need to REPLACE all the original monkeys this November.

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A Speech Every American High School Principal Should Give

A Speech Every American High School Principal Should Give
By Dennis Prager

If every school principal gave this speech at the beginning of the next school year, America would be a better place.

To the students and faculty of our high school:

I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people.

I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country.

First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships.

The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American. This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans.

If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity-, race- and non-American nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America, one of its three central values -- e pluribus unum, "from many, one." And this school will be guided by America's values.

This includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.

Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interesting in are those based on ethnic, racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.

Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America's citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English language skills, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the American job market. We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English -- but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.

Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for Hollywood events than for church or school. These people have their priorities backward. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.

Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the f-word, you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission, plus epithets such as "Nigger," even when used by one black student to address another black, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.

Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it . One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.

Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates this school and does not consider himself or herself inordinately lucky -- to be alive and to be an American.

Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Drafting Guys Over 60

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns... We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old coots with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!