Wednesday, November 23, 2011
OUR FEDERAL GOVERNEMENT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO COME TO TERMS ON THE DEFICIT. EASY SOLUTION – DO WHAT WE TAXPAYERS HAVE HAD TO DO…GET ALONG WITH LESS! MAKE THE CUTS AND MOVE FORWARD! ALSO, WHY HAVEN’T WE CUT OFF A DAY OF MAIL DELIVERY? MY 13 YEAR OLD SON, JOJO, COULD GET IN THERE AND FIX THEIR PROBLEMS! IT AIN’T ROCKET SCIENCE
THE JOINT WATER AND SEWER COMMISSION FOR WANTING TO HIRE A PUBLIC RELATIONS PERSON AT THE TUNE OF 30 – 40 THOUSAND A YEAR…SAY WHAT? THEY SAY THEY WANT TO HELP REPAIR AND RESTORE THEIR IMAGE…MY WIFE, ROBBIE SUE, SAID IT BEST: “HIRING A PR PERSON USUSUALLY MEANS THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING”
COPPER THEIVES…COME ON!...THERE’S PLENTY OF ALUMINUM CANS OUT THERE.
ANYONE AT PENN STATE THAT HAD ANY KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THAT SCUMBAG, CHILD PREDATOR, HAD BEEN DOING. THEY SHOULD ALL GO TO JAIL FOR BEING ACCOMPLICES…AND THAT INCLUDES JOE PA PATERNO. YOU CAN’T JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY!
THE GLYNN COUNTY COMMISSION…WHAT A FULL PLATE! FOR FORGETTING THAT SPLOST IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SPECIAL PURPOSES AND NOT STUFF LIKE POLICE CARS AND FIRE EQUIPMENT THAT SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN THE BUDGET. FOR MUCKING UP THE ALTAMAHA PARK BY APPOINTING UN-QUALIFIED, ILL-INFORMED, LOUDMOUTHS, TO REPLACE PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY GIVE A DARN ABOUT THAT PLACE…AND LET’S FORGET ABOUT THE NEW RATES THAT HAVE MADE OUR TAX FINANCED NEW POSTELL PARK UN-AFFORADABLE FOR MOST OF THE VENDORS THAT HAVE ALWAYS PARTICIPATED IN ARTS SHOWS AND ANTIQUE SHOWS.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because He Lives!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination)
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congresss.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity,gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Here is a picture of four labs. I think it's pretty obvious which one is
the meth lab. I hope this helps.
Let me know if I can be of any further service in this matter.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
9. Reminds me of the wall in China...we could rename it "The Great Wall of Whiners"!
8. Rumor has it you can see it from space.
7. We wouldn't need it if we had just kept the toll.
6. Doing to local commutes what Liberty Harbor did to the local real estate market.
5. Quit your complaining, the folks in Berlin eventually got used to their wall.
4. I like it...I alwsys hated seeng the ugly tires on the cars from the opposite direction anyway.
3. Couldn't we have just built a big traffic circle?
2. Now, if we could just put a wall around St. Simons Island to keep the rifraf out.
And the top comment overheard about the Causeway divider wall:
I can't wait to spray paint my girlfriend's name on it!
Monday, April 18, 2011
I was speaking to an emergency room physician this morning.
He told me that a woman in her 20s came to the ER with her 8thpregnancy.
She stated, "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family."
He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get
money for the family.
It goes like this:
The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states
that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children.
DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care.
The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check
for $1500 per child per month in Illinois.
Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free,
not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly card entitling
her to free groceries, etc, and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month.
This does not even include WIC and other welfare programs.
Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.
This is how the ruling class spends our tax dollars.
Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what...
Don't forget to pay your taxes!!!
There are a lot of "Breadwinners" depending on you
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
PROUD TO BE FROM GEORGIA
There are some things that all Georgians should know:
Georgia is the largest state east of the Mississippi River ...
Coca Cola is ours, and unless you've had one in a six-and-a-half ounce bottle,
with a slight crust of ice on top, you missed a real treat.
Try pouring about half a pack of salted peanuts into one sometime.
If it weren't for a Georgian - Crawford Long of Jefferson - all surgery would hurt bad!
Georgians, native or adopted, say "ma'am" and "sir" and call their mothers "mama" and their fathers "daddy".
They know that y'all is perfectly good English and never means just one person.
"Fixin to" is perfectly acceptable, too. It's really preferred.
And if y'all don't like the way we talk, Delta (which is also ours) is ready when you are.
Long before the Olympics brought the world's greatest athletes to Atlanta ,
we gave the world Ty Cobb, Jackie Robinson, Walt Frazier, Luke Appling, Johnny Mize,
Fran Tarkenton, Bobby Jones, Wyomia Tyus, and Herschel Walker.
If you don't know who these people are, you ought to find out before you go to bed tonight.
The greatest tournament in golf will still be played in Augusta every April,
and on autumn Saturdays,
Every Fall the Red-and-Black faithful will gather in Athens for a prayer meeting between the hedges.
Georgia Tech fans gather in Atlanta for Buzz to carry out the sting.
The Stone Mountain carving is lots bigger than the one on Mt. Rushmore
and the people etched into the side of Stone Mountain deserve the honor, Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and President Jefferson Davis.
It wasn't about slavery. It was about freedom and independence from an all powerful government-sorta like Braveheart and most Southerners can trace their heritage to Scotland .
The best grapes and wine is produced in Lumpkin County .
Yes, we are better than California .
Atlanta with its millions of people has one of the greatest economies in the world and no other city in the USA has so much to offer in the way of the arts.
Milledgeville is the best small town in the USA and Georgia Military College is one of the top military colleges in the USA .
In 1864, Sherman burned parts of Atlanta and Georgia . He and his "men" also raped, stole and pillaged on his March to the sea. But we persevered.
We're called the " Peach State " because ours are the sweetest.
We do produce the most peanuts, pecans, and poultry.
The best barbecue in the world is from our Georgia pits.
Yes, God intended for iced tea to be served "sweet."
Elvis wasn't ours, but Otis Redding, James Brown, the Allman Brothers,
Johnny Mercer, Joe South , Ray Charles, Bill Anderson, Brenda Lee,
Trisha Yearwood, Little Richard, Gladys Knight, Jerry Reed, Burt Reynolds, Ray Stevens, Tommy Roe, and Alan Jackson are, as are trumpeter Harry James and wrestler Hulk Hogan
So are Sidney Lanier, Joel Chandler Harris, Margaret Mitchell and Alice Walker.
And I still miss Lewis Grizzard every day.
Julia Roberts may be Georgia's prettiest movie star,
and Holly Hunter may well be the most talented.
Dakota Fanning may one day surpass them both.
But no one shines brighter than actress Joanne Woodward.
Georgians Doc Holliday found his fame in the Old West and Oliver Hardy made us laugh in movies.
FDR adopted us. His "Little White House" in Warm Springs , Ga. is exactly as it was the day he died there,
near the end of World War II.
Every Georgian and citizen of the USA needs to visit Warm Springs.
Roosevelt's New Deal put Georgians to work
and turned an entire generation of her people into the best employers/employees in this great land.
Georgia once had three governors at the same time.
Lester Maddox wasn't one of them, but was elected by the General Assembly
without getting a majority of the popular vote.
He did a good job too, God rest his soul.
"Gone With the Wind" belongs to us. We own it.
Not only is it by one of our own and is about Georgia ,
but it's also one of the great novels of all times.
WSB (TV) means "Welcome to the South, Brother."
The Brown Thrasher, the Cherokee Rose, and the Live Oak are our symbols.
Proud, decent, honest people are our heritage.
And lastly, Georgia ain't exactly heaven - but it will do until I get there.
Can I Hear an AMEN?!
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep **** now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther..
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged'.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
This is much easier to remember !!!
Ten Commandments In Southern...
(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God
(3) Watch yer mouth
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin'
(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(8) Don't take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff
Now that's plain an' simple.
Y'all have a nice day now ya hear!
And bless your little heart....
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
A CALIFORNIA PRINCIPAL'S OPENING MESSAGE TO STUDENTS
Dennis Prager - from a principal at a high school in Redding, California, on the first day of classes in 2010:
To the students and faculty of our high school:
I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater
calling than to teach young people. I would like to apprise you of some
important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers, against your parents, and against our country.
First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow, or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian, or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships.
The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American. This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans.
If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial, or religious identity through your school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity-race-and non-American-nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America, one of its three central values -- E Pluribus Unum -- "from many, one." And this school will be guided by America's values.
That includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation, or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.
Our clubs will be based on interests and passions -- not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So, we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, math, carpentry, and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnic or racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.
Second, I am not interested in whether or not English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave thisschool speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America's citizens for more than 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English-language skills, I will have been remiss in my duty to ensure that you are prepared to compete successfully in the American job market. We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English. But if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.
Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for a meal at a nice restaurant than they do for church or school. Those people have their priorities backwards. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.
Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the "F-word," you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission plus epithets such as the "N-word," even when used by one black student to address another, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few of your age to distinguish instinctively between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.
Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until the state of California decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it. One immediate consequence of this is that there will be only one class valedictorian, not eight.
Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom-wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual, or not Christian. We will have failed, if any one of you graduates from this school and does not consider himself or herself inordinately lucky -- to be alive and to be an American.
Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.
By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"
* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
Your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
"See I am not the only one that feels that the Star Spangle Banner should be sung as it was written! I'd love to know what listeners think? Someone said it better than I could.
'So, with all the kindness I can muster, I give this one piece of advice to the next pop star who is asked to sing the national anthem at a sporting event: Save the vocal gymnastics and the physical gyrations for your concerts. Just sing this song the way you were taught to sing it in kindergarten — straight up, no styling. Sing it with the constant awareness that there are soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines watching you from bases and outposts all over the world. Don’t make them cringe with your self-centered ego gratification. Sing it as if you are standing before a row of 86-year-old WWII vets wearing their Purple Hearts, Silver Stars and flag pins on their cardigans and you want them to be proud of you for honoring them and the country they love — not because you want them to think you are a superstar musician. They could see that from the costumes, the makeup and the entourages. Sing “The Star Spangled Banner” with the courtesy and humility that tells the audience that it is about America, not you.'"
With all that being said, I still think that a little variety is OK. What separates a singer from an artist is that an artist makes the music his or her own without ruining the song. Here is a great version of the Star Spangled Banner from Martina McBride:
Monday, February 28, 2011
FROM THE PRODUCERS OF THE “X-MEN”…COMES THE STORY OF THREE SUPERHEROS WHO SEE THEIR YEARS OF TOILING FOR THE CITIZENS COME TO A CLOSE BY BEING MAINLY REMEMBERED FOR ONE SIMPLE $3.9 MISTAKE THAT ENDED UP BEING AN EXPENSIVE DOWNTOWN DIRT PARKING LOT …”THE X-COMMISSIONERS: THE JAIL YEARS”.
FROM THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU JONAH HEX…COMES THE STORY OF A ROADWAY PROJECT THAT STARTED OUT AS A GOOD IDEA TO MOST PEOPLE UNTIL THEY FIGURED OUT SOME THINGS IMPACTING THEM IN AN UNFORESEEN NEGATIVE WAY…LIKE NOT BEING ABLE TO TURN LEFT OUT OF THE GOLDEN ISLES MARINA…OR MAKING IT MORE DIFFICULT FOR RESCUE PERSONEL TO BE ABLE TURN AROUND…IT’S THE ACTION PACKED MEDIAN THRILLER “CAUSEWAY HEX”.
THE FOLKS THAT BROUGHT YOU TWO OF THE YEAR’S MOST CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED MOVIES, “THE KING’S SPEECH” AND “BLACK SWAN”…HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER TO BRING YOU THE STORY OF AN INCOMING CHAMBER OF COMMERCE CHAIRMAN’S SWEEPING EPIC SPEECH AT THAT PAINTED A GREAT DESCRIPTION OF OUR COMMUNITY…AND EVEN ALLOWED FOR PEOPLE TO SLEEP THROUGH IT BY ASKING EVERYONE TO “CLOSE THEIR EYES”…YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS “THE SWAN’S SPEECH”.
THE OLD 60’S TV SERIES “LOST IN SPACE” LIVES ON IN THE NEW FILM ABOUT A GROUP OF ELECTED OFFICIALS THAT CAN’T QUITE SEEM TO FUNCTION OR FIND THEiR WAY OUT OF ANY MESS WITHOUT HITTING THE TAXPAYERS FOR ANOTHER SPECIAL PURPOSE LOCAL OPTION SALES TAX…YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THE STRANGER THAN FICTION EPIC ADVENTURE “SPLOST IN PLACE”.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Biting the bullet on expenses
It's tough but we all need to do our part. The President ordered the cabinet
to cut a whopping $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget!
I'm so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing
with my personal budget. I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, medicine,
bills, etc., but it's time to get out the budget cutting ax, go line by line
through my expenses, and go to work.
I'm going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio -1/35,000 of my total
budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2000 a
month; I'm going to have to cut that number by six cents!
Yes, I'm going to have to get by with $1999.94, but that's what sacrifice is
I'll just have to do without some
things, that are, frankly, luxuries.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
5 Lessons about the way we treat people
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant...they deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello.."
I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient..."Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by nd simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
Monday, February 21, 2011
they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youths' rite of Passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him an leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold
until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him .
Maybe even some human might do him harm.
The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold.
It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
If you liked this story, pass it on.
If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn.
Moral of the story:
Just because you can't see God,
Doesn't mean He is not there.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD
An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a
routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him.
The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at
close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.
A state-wide manhunt ensued.
The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area and as soon as he
took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the
guy 68 times.
Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to
shoot the poor undocumented immigrant 68 times.
Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: 'Because that's
all the ammunition we had..' Now, is that just about the all-time
greatest answer or what!
The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural
When asked by a reporter how that could be since there were 68
bullet wounds in his body,
he simply replied: (BEST QUOTE of 2009) ...
"when you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."
GOD BLESS AMERICA !
Monday, February 7, 2011
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so ... Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Monday, January 31, 2011
His short two-paragraph letter to the White House accurately puts the blame on a "Culture Crisis" instead of a "Health Care Crisis". It's worth a quick read:
Dear Mr. President:
During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a new cellular telephone equipped with a popular music ringtone.
While glancing over her patient chart, I happened to notice that her payer status was listed as "Medicaid"! During my examination of her, the patient informed me that she smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and somehow still has money to buy pretzels and beer.
And, you and our Congress expect me to pay for this woman's health care? I contend that our nation's "health care crisis" is not the result of a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. Rather, it is the result of a "crisis of culture", a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on luxuries and vices while refusing to take care of one's self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance. It is a culture based in the irresponsible credo that "I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me".
Once you fix this "culture crisis" that rewards irresponsibility and dependency, you'll be amazed at how quickly our nation's health care difficulties will disappear.
STARNER JONES, MD
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina .
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except in Cobb County where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke is all they drink there so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.
The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm. (Don't forget the lunch time rush hour!)
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m. Saturday.
Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."
And yes, they have a street named simply "Boulevard."
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
I-285 is the loop that encircles Atlanta which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph, but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over and is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop."
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta . Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air..
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu.
It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store) - also can be pronounced "Fixinta".
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
"How's Momma-nem" means: "How's Mother and all of the other children and other members of the family doing?"
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze..
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Top 7 cutbacks in the next James Bond Movie
7…Bond can’t afford the Aston Martin…so he and M are getting the 2 for 1 deal at Mike Murphy Kia…he’ll now get 30 mpg on a highway high speed chase…and 24 mpg on a city high speed chase
6…Instead of using fancy high tech gadgets …he’ll battle villains with a spork from KFC.
5…The expensive Daniel Craig will be replaced by Tater’s friend Finger Licking Cliff.
4…His double-oh-seven designation has been cut down to a more affordable double-oh-three and half.
3…The villian’s secret underground lair has been replaced by that jacked up trailer at Liberty Harbor.
2…The beautiful Bond girls have been replaced by a couple of Arco working girls and former cook at The Risky Café in Darien..
And the top cut back…
In order to make ends meet…with his license to kill he’s also got a license to sell real estate, drive a school bus and hawk Visalus.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Let me get this straight . . . .
We're going to be "gifted" with a health care
plan we are forced to purchase and
fined if we don't,
Which purportedly covers at least
ten million more people,
without adding a single new doctor,
but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents,
written by a committee whose chairman
says he doesn't understand it,
passed by a Congress that didn't read it but
exempted themselves from it,
and signed by a President who smokes,
with funding administered by a treasury chief who
didn't pay his taxes,
for which we'll be taxed for four years before any
benefits take effect,
by a government which has
already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare,
all to be overseen by a surgeon general
who is obese,
and financed by a country that's broke!!!!!
'What the heck could
possibly go wrong?'