Monday, February 22, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: A new way to cuss

An Elite Cuss Word--Just for Anybody

Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression "Bull S***."
As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, that expression became "BS."
What did I really mean when I used those expressions? I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just stupid. It covered any number of negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially : foolish insolent talk...
I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have a need to express such feelings, I will use the word "Pelosi." Let me use it in a sentence. "That's just a bunch of Pelosi.."
I encourage you to do the same. It is such a nasty sounding word, it really packs a punch, we are no longer being vulgar, and it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, perhaps the word could be entered into the dictionary. When on a ranch watch your step and don't step in the Pelosi. It will get on the bottom of your boot and won't go away until next election. What a fitting and descriptive legacy for the Speaker of the House!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "A Simple Idea To Kick Start The Economy"

A simple idea to kick start the economy

Here’s a simple idea that could be enacted almost with the stroke of a pen. This could be just the catalyst to get consumers spending which, in turn, will allow small business to start hiring employees.
Suspend and permanently forgive all federal payroll taxes (employee and employer) for
3 months for people making under $250,000 per year, and “pay” for this “tax holiday” by using unspent stimulus and TARP funds.
With swift action by the US Congress, this could easily be enacted by April 1, 2010.
Just think what this simple plan would do for your personal income and the national economy.
If you agree this is a good idea, then immediately send this to your Representative and Senator, to everyone in your email address book, post this on your Facebook page and write a letter to your local newspaper. Maybe someone will listen.
Read further if you’re interested, but the plan is very simple.
The Problem
The problem right now, for a wide variety of reasons and without playing the blame game, is that consumers are not spending money at the local retail level (the restaurant, the dentist, the car wash/quick lube, the card store, etc.) When consumers spend money at the local level, then retailers, a.k.a. small business, will hire people. When small business hires people, then these people will have money in their pocket to spend at the local level. And on and on it goes. See how simple this is.
I am a small business owner in Brunswick, GA operating two car wash/quick lube stores. We have cut back on employees because customers are not spending money at our car wash/quick lube stores. When consumers start spending money, we will hire employees to service those customers. To suggest the solution is for us to incur more debt by taking a loan from the bank to cover payroll costs so we can hire people to have them stand around is the last thing we need! What we need is customers spending money at the retail level.
This could just be the answer.
How to Make It Work
Of course, Congress has to pass a law. Then, every employer, payroll service and accountant is notified by the IRS of the tax holiday period. The instructions are simple:
For a period of three months, do not withhold any federal payroll taxes (federal income tax, social security tax, Medicare tax or federal unemployment tax) from employee paychecks and stop the employer share on these same employee earnings. By year-end tax filing time, publish the formula that employees and employers are to use to calculate the new tax liability incorporating the three month “tax holiday”.
Very easy. Very simple. Very clean. Think about and act today.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "What Our Pets Are Thinking"

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...