Monday, July 16, 2007

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Why there are no South Georgia Redneck Drivers in Nascar.

Tony Stewart wins another race and makes all of the heavy people proud! It ain't every day that you see a fat man climb a fence like that. Someone told me that they like Tony because he can "redneck up" with the best of us. That's true, he can certainly do that, but he ain't a real South Georgia Redneck. In fact I don't think NASCAR could handle one of us. I thought that the Truck series might be a way for one us to get in the driver's seat. Unfortunately that idea hasn't panned out, yet. Probably won't due to some important factors such as these:

The Top Reasons That There No South Georgia Redneck Drivers in NASCAR

No room in the back for a cooler.

No room to hang a rifle.

Dog not allowed to ride in the back.

Kinda hard to keep a toothpick in your mouth with that full face helmet.

Bubba can't ride shotgun while you're racing.

No place on car to fly the old Georgia flag.

They won't let you get a just redneck "five dollar's worth" fill-up during a pit stop

You can't eat a piece of fried chicken while you're driving, and then throw the bones out the window.

They won't let you listen to Wave 104.1 while you're racing.

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