Sunday, July 8, 2007

JOE WILLIE ON THE SHRIMPBOX: THE BIG CRACK PROBLEM

THE CRACK PROBLEM IS OUT OF CONTROL! IT’S EVERYWHERE AND I’M TIRED OF HAVING TO SEE IT! WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE DRUG PROBLEMS IN OUR GREAT NATION. THAT’S NOT THE CRACK PROBLEM THAT I’M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW. I’M TALKING ABOUT THE BUTT CRACK DISPLAYS BEING SHOWN EVERYWHERE YOU TURN. YOU GO TO THE BEACH AND YOU’LL SEE ‘EM ALL OVER THE PLACE. JEKYLL ISLAND’S BEACHES LOOK LIKE THERE HOSTING A PLUMBER’S CONVENTION! HERE’S THE SOLUTION: PULL UP YOUR DRAWERS! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR NASTY BUTT CRACK! IT AIN’T SEXY. IT AIN’T PURTY! IT’S NOT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES. IN FACT IT’S A SIGHT THAT MAKES OUR EYES SORE! BUY BIGGER CLOTHES.
GET SOMETHING THAT FITS! THE LITTLE COPPERTONE GIRL ON THAT OLD ADVERTISEMENT WITH THE DOG PULLING DOWN HER BATHING SUIT WAS CUTE. YOUR BIG OLE, OFTEN HAIRY, BUTT AIN’T. GET BIGGER DRAWERS…GET A LONGER SHIRT…FILL IN THE CRACK WITH BUTT PUTTY…DO SOMETHING! NONE OF US WANT TO SEE IT! THE CRACK PROBLEM MUST BE ALLEVIATED!

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