Friday, April 25, 2008

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Share The Pork

Grocery prices are increasing, and even a casual reader of news probably knows that food shortages have led to riots around the world. But lawmakers in Washington are covering their ears, closing their eyes, and pretending that everything is the same, says the NY Times.

Although American farmers are making record incomes, Congress is getting ready to pass the typical farm bill that has billions in the same old subsidies. "It really is astounding," said one House member. "It's as if this farm bill is being negotiated in a vacuum."

How about sharing that pork? I say we get subsidies for shrimpers for not catching shrimp! Hey Captain, here's your check for not going out today. Thanks.

How about paying musicians for not doing certain songs. Better yet, pay somebody like Vic Waters for not playing certain keys on his keyboards. You send Brad Paisley a subsidy for not hitting a certain note on his guitar.

I could get subsidies for not telling certain jokes. Send me a check for not talking trash about some politician. I like this plan a lot.

Husbands could get paid for not doing yard work. Leave the grass alone and collect the green.

Why stop there. Let's pay school systems for not educating our children. Oh, we're already doing that.

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