Thursday, October 4, 2007

Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Truckstop Restrooms

Truckstop Restrooms

I've been hearing about the uproar over the new truckstop sign at Exit 29 on I-95. a lot of folks are mad about it. Yeah, the GOASIS sign is bright, but there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed first. The issue that really needs attention is truckstop restrooms in general! I continue to be amazed by truckstop restrooms! From the vile vermin in the air to the nasty floors it is indeed an amazing sight and smell. Is there some kind of law that says that they can only be cleaned once a year? And that cleaning comes once a year, whether it needs it or not. I'll say this about the cleanliness, if I were to drop a hundred bill on the floor of a truckstop restroom I wouldn't pick it up!
I don't think "Germex" or industrial strength "Lysol" can fight that fight! They also need to change the name from "restroom" to something else. The last thing I can do in those places is rest. No relaxation! I'm staying on my toes and getting out before the vermin latch hold to me! Forget about washing your hands in there. The soap don't have a chance! A full immersion in "Lava" (with pumice) is probably what the doctor would order. And have you seen the latest thing on the wall, next to the glow in the dark adult novelties? A 25 cent shot of your favorite fragrance. Drop in your change and hit the pump. Who came up with this idea? I smell a lawsuit coming. "Yes, your honor, I was just trying to put a little on my neck. I hit the aroma plunger and it sprayed all in my eyes. The doctor says I got Hi Karate Eye. A million dollars or so ought to help me out." Need to relieve yourself, find a fast food joint and a take a "McPee"!

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