JOE WILLIE ON THE SHRIMPBOX: NEW WORDS

I see where the dictionary has added a few new words this year like GINORMOUS. That's from GIGANTIC and ENORMOUS. Well, I've got a few new words, too.

WORDS FOUND IN THE PORTAGEE-REDNECK DICTIONARY

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git
a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see
that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.

HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65.."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some
farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson
recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

WARSH - verb. To clean.

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

JUICY - Contraction. A question. “JUICY THAT NEW BRUCE WILLIS MOVIE?”

MARKINS - Noun. Citizens of the United States.
Usage: "My fellow Markins..."

PARAMOUR - Noun. An automated device for cutting grass.
Usage: "What kinda deal you gonna make me on that paramour?"