Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: How old is old?

"How Old is Grandpa?"

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather
about current events. The grandson asked his
grandfather what he thought about the shootings
at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute,
I was born before:television, penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees and
the pill.
There were no:
credit cards
laser beams or
ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers
and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh
air and
man hadn't yet walked on the moon
How old is Grandpa???
Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".
And after I turned 25, I still called every man older than
me, "Sir". We were before gay-rights, computer- dating,
dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,
good judgment, and common sense. We were taught
to know the difference between right and wrong and to
stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country
was a bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent
or Yom Kipper.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along
with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors
when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in
the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the
President's speeches on our radios.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was
junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your
school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard
of.
We had 5&10-cent stores where you could actually
buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and
a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your
nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 . . . but who
could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents
a gallon.
In my day: grass was mowed, "coke" was a cold drink,
"pot" was something your mother cooked in and "rock
music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant
a piece of wood, "hardware" was found in a hardware
store and "software" wasn't even a word.
No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say
there is a generation gap... and how old do you think
I am?
I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a
shock!

pretty scary if you think about it and
pretty sad at the same time.


This man would be only 59 years old.

{Scary, isn't it?}