Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Are We No Longer Thankful For Thanksgiving?

ARE WE NO LONGER THANKFUL FOR THANKSGIVING? IT SEEMS LIKE WE GO STRAIGHT FROM HALLOWEEN TO CHRISTMAS! WHY DON’T WE GIVE THE “TRUE AMERICAN HOLIDAY” THE RESPECT IT DESERVES? WHAT HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING DECORATIONS? ARE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BULLETIN BOARDS THE LAST BASTION FOR THE PILGRIMS, CORNUCOPIAS AND TURKEYS. DOES ANYONE STILL MAKE THE PINE CONE TURKEYS? IF YOU LANDED HERE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY YOU WOULD THINK BY WALKING THROUGH OUR STORES THAT WE GO STRAIGHT FROM HALLOWEEN TO THANKSGIVING. YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE A CLUE THAT OUR COUNTRY’S TRUE AMERICAN HOLIDAY WAS SANDWICHED IN BETWEEN THE DAY OF RECEIVING CANDY AND THE DAY OF RECEIVING GIFTS.

YOU’VE NOW GOT PEOPLE DECORATING THEIR HOMES AND YARDS FOR HALLOWEEN WITH THE SAME EXUBERANCE THAT THEY USE TO DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS. I’M SURPRISED THAT THE MALLS AND SHOPPING CENTERS DON’T HAVE A GIANT PUMPKIN CHARACTER WAITING IN CENTERCOURT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED, AT A REASONABLE FEE, WITH YOUR EXCITED CHILDREN. IF THEY CAN MAKE A PROFIT AT EASTER WITH THE EASTER BUNNY, THEN WHY NOT A PUMPKIN? FOR THAT MATTER, WHY NOT GET A PHOTO WITH THE GREAT TURKEY OR WITH A PILGRIM?

I SAY IT’S TIME TO STAND UP FOR THANKSGIVING! LET’S GIVE THE DAY THE THANKS THAT IT REALLY DESERVES. WE NEED TO START PUTTING THANKSGIVING DECORATIONS OUT ON THE LAWN. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND AN INFLATABLE PILGRIM OR TURKEY? HOW ABOUT THE MAYFLOWER CHURNING THRU STORMY SEAS IN ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLE GLOBE THINGS? I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE AN ANIMATED TURKEY POPPING OUT FROM BEHIND A TREE WHILE THE PILGRIM TAKES A SHOT AT IT.

IT’S PROBABLY TOO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS TO PUT UP A THANKSGIVING TREE. WE COULD, HOWEVER, PUT UP A TURKEY DAY BUSH. INSTEAD OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, WE COULD ADORN IT WITH LIT-UP CORNUCOPIAS. AND SINCE A LOT OF US WON’T TOUCH THE CRANBERRY SAUCE WE NEED TO FIND A DECORATIVE USE FOR THAT AS WELL.

AND ONE LAST THING: THANKSGIVING NEEDS SOME MORE SONGS. HOW MANY THANKSGIVING SONGS CAN YOU NAME? THE ONLY ONE THAT COMES TO MY MIND IS THAT CRAP THAT ADAM SANDLER WAS SINGING A FEW YEARS AGO. CHRISTMAS HAS A TON OF SONGS. EVEN HALLOWEEN HAS PLENTY. WHAT CAN WE SING AFTER WE DEVOUR THE TURKEY?

JOIN ME IN THIS CAUSE, CAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. LET’S GIVE OUR TRUE AMERICAN HOLIDAY THE RESPECT IT TRULY DESERVES. WE SHOULD ALL BE THANKFUL FORE THANKSGIVING!