Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The Best Job.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job! I love being on the air and doing a fun morning show. With that said, I must tell that there is one job that I really want. There's one big roadblock, though, in getting there. You see, to get my dream job, I'd first have to be the President Of The United States Of America. What I really want to be when I grow is an Ex-president. Being the Commander-In-Chief is a good job with a lot of cool perks and decent pay. The problem with that job is the stress that comes with being the most powerful person in the world. I would like to skip right over that and go right to being in the position of Ex-president. No stress...no worries...and all of a sudden everyone thinks you're much wiser than you really are. What does an Ex-president do? Pretty much anything you want! The pay is even better than when you were living in the White House. The money is better because now everybody wants to know what really went on at the Oval Office.
So you write a book, your memoirs, about your experience as being the big guy. You talk about your foreign policy...your domestic policies...and about your encounters with other leaders. Did the Queen have bad breath? Does the French Premiere have a bad case of B.O.? You get to dish out all the dirt and make millions! What a gig!
Plus, you get Secret Service protection for life! You can say anything about anybody, and you got the heat to protect you! There's more: you get your own library. I can see it now...The Joe Willie Presidential Library. At home my family has always referred to my bathroom being my "library". With that in mind I'll make the main reading room in the Presidential library look like a big bathroom. No tables or chairs...just stalls with working toilets. The sign would say..."Enter here to be just a flush away from greatness!" You gotta have dreams! Ex-President that's mine. Maybe I could get elected to the office...do the job for a day or two...hang out at Camp David...resign! What a book!