Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: "Years To Live"

"Years to Live"

G~d created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy
loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack
intelligence. You will live for 40 years."

The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is
too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was
so.

Then G~d created the dog, and told him, "You will hold
vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will
be his greatest companion. You will eat his table
scraps and live for 30 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog
is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was
so.

G~d then created the monkey, and told him, "You are
Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like
an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20
years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as
the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give
me no more than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, G~d created Man and told him, "You are Man,
the only rational being that walks the earth. You will
use your intelligence to have mastery over the
creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and
live for 20 years."

And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20
years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years
the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the
10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.

And so G~d made Man to live 20 years as a man, then
marry and live 20 years like a mule working and
carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have
children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house
and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry;
then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey,
acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.