"New Word Definitions"
Here are the winners of the Washington Post
Mensa Invitational, which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Put your thinking
cap on. These are really clever!!!
The 2006 winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building)
a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND
an a- -hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which only lasts until you realize that it was your
money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting some action.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This
one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes
and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon: (n. ): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are
good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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