RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because He Lives!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Political Flow Chart
The political flow chart
When top level guys look down, they see only poopie heads.
When bottom level guys look up, they see only butts.
Have you ever seen a flow chart presented so accurately?
When top level guys look down, they see only poopie heads.
When bottom level guys look up, they see only butts.
Have you ever seen a flow chart presented so accurately?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: New Government Plan To Help
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination)
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congresss.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity,gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination)
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congresss.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity,gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Friday, April 22, 2011
A a law enforcement officer mentioned that he has recently been I have been approached by several people wanting to know how to identify a meth lab.
Here is a picture of four labs. I think it's pretty obvious which one is
the meth lab. I hope this helps.
Let me know if I can be of any further service in this matter.
Here is a picture of four labs. I think it's pretty obvious which one is
the meth lab. I hope this helps.
Let me know if I can be of any further service in this matter.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The Causeway Wall
The Top 9 comments overheard about the St. Simons Causeway Divider:
9. Reminds me of the wall in China...we could rename it "The Great Wall of Whiners"!
8. Rumor has it you can see it from space.
7. We wouldn't need it if we had just kept the toll.
6. Doing to local commutes what Liberty Harbor did to the local real estate market.
5. Quit your complaining, the folks in Berlin eventually got used to their wall.
4. I like it...I alwsys hated seeng the ugly tires on the cars from the opposite direction anyway.
3. Couldn't we have just built a big traffic circle?
2. Now, if we could just put a wall around St. Simons Island to keep the rifraf out.
And the top comment overheard about the Causeway divider wall:
I can't wait to spray paint my girlfriend's name on it!
9. Reminds me of the wall in China...we could rename it "The Great Wall of Whiners"!
8. Rumor has it you can see it from space.
7. We wouldn't need it if we had just kept the toll.
6. Doing to local commutes what Liberty Harbor did to the local real estate market.
5. Quit your complaining, the folks in Berlin eventually got used to their wall.
4. I like it...I alwsys hated seeng the ugly tires on the cars from the opposite direction anyway.
3. Couldn't we have just built a big traffic circle?
2. Now, if we could just put a wall around St. Simons Island to keep the rifraf out.
And the top comment overheard about the Causeway divider wall:
I can't wait to spray paint my girlfriend's name on it!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: The Breadwinner
A friend of mine sent this in:
THE BREADWINNER
Bread Winner...
I was speaking to an emergency room physician this morning.
He told me that a woman in her 20s came to the ER with her 8thpregnancy.
She stated, "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family."
He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get
money for the family.
It goes like this:
The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states
that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children.
DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care.
The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check
for $1500 per child per month in Illinois.
Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free,
not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly card entitling
her to free groceries, etc, and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month.
This does not even include WIC and other welfare programs.
Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.
This is how the ruling class spends our tax dollars.
Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what...
Don't forget to pay your taxes!!!
There are a lot of "Breadwinners" depending on you
THE BREADWINNER
Bread Winner...
I was speaking to an emergency room physician this morning.
He told me that a woman in her 20s came to the ER with her 8thpregnancy.
She stated, "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family."
He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get
money for the family.
It goes like this:
The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states
that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children.
DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care.
The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check
for $1500 per child per month in Illinois.
Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free,
not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly card entitling
her to free groceries, etc, and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month.
This does not even include WIC and other welfare programs.
Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.
This is how the ruling class spends our tax dollars.
Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what...
Don't forget to pay your taxes!!!
There are a lot of "Breadwinners" depending on you
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Joe Willie On The Shrimpbox: Proud to be from Georgia!
My buddy Wayne Stewart sent me this. Thought I'd share with it you:
PROUD TO BE FROM GEORGIA
There are some things that all Georgians should know:
Georgia is the largest state east of the Mississippi River ...
Coca Cola is ours, and unless you've had one in a six-and-a-half ounce bottle,
with a slight crust of ice on top, you missed a real treat.
Try pouring about half a pack of salted peanuts into one sometime.
If it weren't for a Georgian - Crawford Long of Jefferson - all surgery would hurt bad!
Georgians, native or adopted, say "ma'am" and "sir" and call their mothers "mama" and their fathers "daddy".
They know that y'all is perfectly good English and never means just one person.
"Fixin to" is perfectly acceptable, too. It's really preferred.
And if y'all don't like the way we talk, Delta (which is also ours) is ready when you are.
Long before the Olympics brought the world's greatest athletes to Atlanta ,
we gave the world Ty Cobb, Jackie Robinson, Walt Frazier, Luke Appling, Johnny Mize,
Fran Tarkenton, Bobby Jones, Wyomia Tyus, and Herschel Walker.
If you don't know who these people are, you ought to find out before you go to bed tonight.
The greatest tournament in golf will still be played in Augusta every April,
and on autumn Saturdays,
Every Fall the Red-and-Black faithful will gather in Athens for a prayer meeting between the hedges.
Georgia Tech fans gather in Atlanta for Buzz to carry out the sting.
The Stone Mountain carving is lots bigger than the one on Mt. Rushmore
and the people etched into the side of Stone Mountain deserve the honor, Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and President Jefferson Davis.
It wasn't about slavery. It was about freedom and independence from an all powerful government-sorta like Braveheart and most Southerners can trace their heritage to Scotland .
The best grapes and wine is produced in Lumpkin County .
Yes, we are better than California .
Atlanta with its millions of people has one of the greatest economies in the world and no other city in the USA has so much to offer in the way of the arts.
Milledgeville is the best small town in the USA and Georgia Military College is one of the top military colleges in the USA .
In 1864, Sherman burned parts of Atlanta and Georgia . He and his "men" also raped, stole and pillaged on his March to the sea. But we persevered.
We're called the " Peach State " because ours are the sweetest.
We do produce the most peanuts, pecans, and poultry.
The best barbecue in the world is from our Georgia pits.
Yes, God intended for iced tea to be served "sweet."
Elvis wasn't ours, but Otis Redding, James Brown, the Allman Brothers,
Johnny Mercer, Joe South , Ray Charles, Bill Anderson, Brenda Lee,
Trisha Yearwood, Little Richard, Gladys Knight, Jerry Reed, Burt Reynolds, Ray Stevens, Tommy Roe, and Alan Jackson are, as are trumpeter Harry James and wrestler Hulk Hogan
So are Sidney Lanier, Joel Chandler Harris, Margaret Mitchell and Alice Walker.
And I still miss Lewis Grizzard every day.
Julia Roberts may be Georgia's prettiest movie star,
and Holly Hunter may well be the most talented.
Dakota Fanning may one day surpass them both.
But no one shines brighter than actress Joanne Woodward.
Georgians Doc Holliday found his fame in the Old West and Oliver Hardy made us laugh in movies.
FDR adopted us. His "Little White House" in Warm Springs , Ga. is exactly as it was the day he died there,
near the end of World War II.
Every Georgian and citizen of the USA needs to visit Warm Springs.
Roosevelt's New Deal put Georgians to work
and turned an entire generation of her people into the best employers/employees in this great land.
Georgia once had three governors at the same time.
Lester Maddox wasn't one of them, but was elected by the General Assembly
without getting a majority of the popular vote.
He did a good job too, God rest his soul.
"Gone With the Wind" belongs to us. We own it.
Not only is it by one of our own and is about Georgia ,
but it's also one of the great novels of all times.
WSB (TV) means "Welcome to the South, Brother."
The Brown Thrasher, the Cherokee Rose, and the Live Oak are our symbols.
Proud, decent, honest people are our heritage.
And lastly, Georgia ain't exactly heaven - but it will do until I get there.
Can I Hear an AMEN?!
PROUD TO BE FROM GEORGIA
There are some things that all Georgians should know:
Georgia is the largest state east of the Mississippi River ...
Coca Cola is ours, and unless you've had one in a six-and-a-half ounce bottle,
with a slight crust of ice on top, you missed a real treat.
Try pouring about half a pack of salted peanuts into one sometime.
If it weren't for a Georgian - Crawford Long of Jefferson - all surgery would hurt bad!
Georgians, native or adopted, say "ma'am" and "sir" and call their mothers "mama" and their fathers "daddy".
They know that y'all is perfectly good English and never means just one person.
"Fixin to" is perfectly acceptable, too. It's really preferred.
And if y'all don't like the way we talk, Delta (which is also ours) is ready when you are.
Long before the Olympics brought the world's greatest athletes to Atlanta ,
we gave the world Ty Cobb, Jackie Robinson, Walt Frazier, Luke Appling, Johnny Mize,
Fran Tarkenton, Bobby Jones, Wyomia Tyus, and Herschel Walker.
If you don't know who these people are, you ought to find out before you go to bed tonight.
The greatest tournament in golf will still be played in Augusta every April,
and on autumn Saturdays,
Every Fall the Red-and-Black faithful will gather in Athens for a prayer meeting between the hedges.
Georgia Tech fans gather in Atlanta for Buzz to carry out the sting.
The Stone Mountain carving is lots bigger than the one on Mt. Rushmore
and the people etched into the side of Stone Mountain deserve the honor, Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and President Jefferson Davis.
It wasn't about slavery. It was about freedom and independence from an all powerful government-sorta like Braveheart and most Southerners can trace their heritage to Scotland .
The best grapes and wine is produced in Lumpkin County .
Yes, we are better than California .
Atlanta with its millions of people has one of the greatest economies in the world and no other city in the USA has so much to offer in the way of the arts.
Milledgeville is the best small town in the USA and Georgia Military College is one of the top military colleges in the USA .
In 1864, Sherman burned parts of Atlanta and Georgia . He and his "men" also raped, stole and pillaged on his March to the sea. But we persevered.
We're called the " Peach State " because ours are the sweetest.
We do produce the most peanuts, pecans, and poultry.
The best barbecue in the world is from our Georgia pits.
Yes, God intended for iced tea to be served "sweet."
Elvis wasn't ours, but Otis Redding, James Brown, the Allman Brothers,
Johnny Mercer, Joe South , Ray Charles, Bill Anderson, Brenda Lee,
Trisha Yearwood, Little Richard, Gladys Knight, Jerry Reed, Burt Reynolds, Ray Stevens, Tommy Roe, and Alan Jackson are, as are trumpeter Harry James and wrestler Hulk Hogan
So are Sidney Lanier, Joel Chandler Harris, Margaret Mitchell and Alice Walker.
And I still miss Lewis Grizzard every day.
Julia Roberts may be Georgia's prettiest movie star,
and Holly Hunter may well be the most talented.
Dakota Fanning may one day surpass them both.
But no one shines brighter than actress Joanne Woodward.
Georgians Doc Holliday found his fame in the Old West and Oliver Hardy made us laugh in movies.
FDR adopted us. His "Little White House" in Warm Springs , Ga. is exactly as it was the day he died there,
near the end of World War II.
Every Georgian and citizen of the USA needs to visit Warm Springs.
Roosevelt's New Deal put Georgians to work
and turned an entire generation of her people into the best employers/employees in this great land.
Georgia once had three governors at the same time.
Lester Maddox wasn't one of them, but was elected by the General Assembly
without getting a majority of the popular vote.
He did a good job too, God rest his soul.
"Gone With the Wind" belongs to us. We own it.
Not only is it by one of our own and is about Georgia ,
but it's also one of the great novels of all times.
WSB (TV) means "Welcome to the South, Brother."
The Brown Thrasher, the Cherokee Rose, and the Live Oak are our symbols.
Proud, decent, honest people are our heritage.
And lastly, Georgia ain't exactly heaven - but it will do until I get there.
Can I Hear an AMEN?!
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